hello.

just ranting a bit here while i'm doing some work.

just like what i said on twitter, i think philosophy's such a deep and interesting topic to ponder and research on. i think God is such a creative God. His creative juices just keep flowing in all sorts of areas and its a wonder how did He create such a wide variety of things.

just take a look at philosophy. it is of the mind. but it affects generations and cultures. and its so interesting to see how diverse people can conceive of a certain situation. i believe every philosophy developed from a certain background, certain circumstance, that led them to believe and think and psycho themselves into thinking that way.

and how, in turn, it affects so many other people. but these people chose to, because they share the same beliefs.

while doing research and all, i cant help but think how very wise the Bible is. and i think there is no greater teacher than God himself, no greater teaching than the Bible itself. though its a book, but it has such rich content and words that can change lives. and it is kinda like a philosophy on its own. just that its more real, and its experiential.

and yup, it is what my essay will be based on. :)

you know you have those songs, that once you listen to them, they zap you into a certain state/emotion? yeah one of those nights. really nice to be in this state, in my own bubble. of music awesomeness.

recent events had me thinking. between character/personality, which would you choose? between oneself/the group, which would you choose?

i am a total advocate in being real. but if being real is at the expense of yourself and of people, then what value is there? i think in everything, we need to choose character. without a core belief and value system, it is hard to navigate through this life that we have. character is everything. and it shows heaps about a person.

when one's character is right, i think people can feel it.

but after everything, i still do believe in second chances. everyone needs second chances. no one can be successful in life with just the first shot. everyone needs the second/third/fourth chances to right every wrong.

but one has to prove to be repentant. and to realise the error of their ways. or else its hard to trust again.

i dont like things being so fast and all. so much so that im too carried away. i like to quieten down to think through things and reflect. these little periods of time is like a bath for me. cleaning myself of everything and go back to me.

i love visualizing and analyzing things. it is just me. if Situation A happened, i will think of reasons why it happened. like Number 1, Number 2, Number 3. then i'll think of possible solutions, Number 1, Number 2, Number 3. haha. i think my mind works in a very weird way.

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my first december away from home.

december's always a month for me to be thankful and grateful for the life that i have. and i will still try to keep that little tradition of mine while i'm still here.

just a little lost these days.

but i guess we all need to go through these kinda things, to find yourself right? even though it can be a long journey.

everything's changing.

every single thing.

for once, let me have the courage.

and let me believe again.

i really need that.

had the most memorable beijing trip ever. all in the name of h&m. more updates next time.

feels like i've got tons to share.

but now, am really tired...

in every way and area...

night..

hello there! thought of dropping a post before sleeping. mood's been real good lately! hehe.

my first self-made breakfast:


(the reason behind the additional ribbon which seems kinda out of place is because i think such a significant milestone is worth a ribbon. and u can totally see my reflection on it.)

the reason why i pasted the tape at the side cos i bought the wrong kinda lunchbox :( this kind wont close properly cos its meant for the microwave. :( but nevermind! and china's bread is especially dry. which made me miss sg's soft fluffy bread so much :( and that five unidentified black objects are actually mini oreos leftover from yesterday's 3am food hunt. (mini oreos are so much yummier than normal ones! i'm a convert!)

soooooo i'll be waking up with good mood tmr in anticipation to taste my yummy breakfast. i hope it turns out good!!! or i'll be super sad :(

and another thing worth mentioning is i cooked my first meal here too! nothing too fanciful, just plain old maggie. BUT i added CHEESE! YUMMY! i dont know how come i've never tried this before back in sg! and i had 7 jiao zis as side dish too. heh.

and btw! this came thru mail for me last week:


YAY! MY FIRST EVER CHEN QI ZHEN'S CONCERT!

you may ask, how is it ever my first?! hmmm. the story quite long ah. but ya! better first than never right?! quite excited! and its coming saturday! omg! cant wait!! :) :) first concert out of sg too!


the wind is bolstering out there outside my window now. its kinda scary. imma go to bed now. night all.

been in china for almost 2 months. though i'm missing home very much, but theres a certain kind of charm that this very place has. that it has really charmed me, and really intrigued me.

wuhan is charming in its own way too. its like a place caught in limbo - of developing into a city, but yet still carrying the not-so-city state.

one thing that really touched me is how real the people are here. its that very subtle aura that they give out, and yet you can sense it so strongly. it is so pure, so innocent. they are so down to earth. and you cant help, but be very won over by their humbleness.

i love all my teachers here. they are all super sincere, super real. and you can really sense that they really live simple, uncomplicated lives. by the way they talk, they react. and isnt that so precious? and i think it reflects alot on how the whole culture is..

even though this place has got lots of things to improve on as well, but it really has this unique feel about it. because being so perfect isnt all that attractive after all.


but just wondering. years down the road, when things change drastically and when things get more advanced, will these things change? the people, the aura, the charm. and just be like any other carbon copy of a 'city-like' state.



its really nice to get away from a city-like place sometimes.

i dont know if she is still known among people nowadays. but she is someone i really admire alot alot. i love her music, i love her. i love her songs, love her lyrics. love how she conveys things. has and always will be one of my favourite artistes.

and i bet alot of people reading this have no idea who she is.




and her songs are just perfect for tonight.
when i'm feeling not that fab. and she just...brings that emotion out.

one of those days/nights...


when you just feel so alone and solo.
when nothing seem to be able to get you.
you just...dont wanna feel. but at the same time...feeling alot.
if it even make any sense.

when did humans' emotions ever make sense anyway.

completed my first exam here in china today. i bought these cute post its at a nearby stationery shop. cute lions with different expressions. cute huh! motivated me to study ytd. and such a joy to see my book earmarked by them. :) all for only 60cents SGD for a packet! such a steal!

i guess you must have an outlet for you to let out all the rants and i've been feeling quite 'full' nowadays. i need an outlet.

you know, life's really like minesweeper sometimes.



one wrong move, and all the effort you've put in can go to zero in a millisecond. when you think you've gotten it, gotten the whole idea, bam! you are wrong. and how that ugly crossed eye smiley witnessed all your failure and stare at how bad at life you are. (talking about people in our lives sometimes)


but thank God for that smiley. you can always depend on that smiley to refresh your life. and start all over again. life's all about second chances, third chances, fourth chances. though not everything's taken for granted though. cos you've still got 99 bombs awaiting you.



however, once you got hold of that chance and really got wiser, your moves become more accurate and specific. you'll manage to spot potential bombs easily and are able to diffuse them before any life-harming damage can be done. and voila! you succeed in life.

and it is also about being better than your previous record. always striving to go forwards and upwards.




well, we had some lame photoshopping class, and i was bored cos all the teacher was teaching were quite...funny. so i was playing minesweeper and all these just occurred to me. trust me, i played LOTS of times to finally win it. thats why i had this idea. lol. (and thats why the text is in chinese cos well, i'm in china. even the photoshop is in chinese. gross i know.)

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if there is anything in life, that i am always finding it hard to come to terms with, is this word called 'change'. i am not a 'change' person. never am. i take a longgggg time to adapt to change. and i take an even longer time to prep myself to 'change'.

and even as i evaluated myself, i found that i can be so stuck in the past, hoping that things wont change, that it affected how i react presently. i am sometimes, in my own world so much so that i can like kinda psycho myself things havent changed. yeap, that phrase probably is for me to 'move on'.

and the one thing that is making me so apprehensive about going to china, is probably this word too. i am so afraid that when i return, so much will change. in my relationships, in anything. and that is one thing that is stopping me from going. and it sucks even more when i know, theres nothing i can do about it.

yeah i know. people can keep going on about how, change is good, change is the only constant, etc. being stuck in the past isnt good, we must look to the future etc. but come on, this is just me. this is one of my weak points. i am always caught off guard when it comes to changes. i always create my own perfect little world in my imagination when things havent changed.


i guess everyone's mad in their own way.

i've all along been very excited about fashion. guess i'm not those woahh fashion week/models/new collection etc kinda 'into' fashion, but just excited about being exposed to new ideas. but well, which girl isnt right?!

and i guess that was why i wanted to go to apparel design initially. but hmmm not my calling after all. hahaha.

and, i've always have alot of opinions about the clothes to wear/not to wear. normally on different situations i'm not that kind who'll voice out my opinion or feel strongly about something, but this is one area that i have my strong beliefs and ideas. (and i am always criticizing everyone on the streets on what they wear secretly in my heart, its my hobby. of course there are some i want to learn from, but in sg, hard to find!)

thus when a couple of years ago we all ventured into fashion bloggers era, i started following a few of them. and seen how each of them grew throughout. and some of them really have a special place in my heart. like i'll always yearn to look like them! (of course not being someone else la, but i really like their style) and i realised, i've collected more than 1000 pics in my comp!

i can just spend hoursssssss looking through all the pictures and visualizing myself in them, where can i get the exact pieces, how can i match the clothes in such a way etc. haha.

sigh. actually theres no point in this post la. just that i really wish i was a millionaire so i can just order away online and have awesome clothes :( but then again, if i was a millionaire, i wouldnt be tingting already. lol.

soooooooo i was making lots of mental notes about what clothes to still get to survive through winter in Wuhan. thats pretty much my motivation of going. thinking of that certain type of coat/knee high socks (oh yes i'm gonna wear that in china cos its not sg right?! lol!)/jeans etc. haha.

life's so exciting with pretty clothes! :D

oh well. i'm super distracted from doing work. well its not like the first day you know tingting huh. haha.


so hellooooo. havent been the most hardcore blogger ever since i started internship. funny how work sucks all the energy out of you. its not even funny already when you feel so drained you just wanna quit.

so anyhow. i'm doing my report and final presentation now. hopefully it goes well.. i hate doing stupid things like this honestly. like dissecting my whole internship and presenting 5 months worth of shit for people to be happy. i mean like, seriously?! i dont mind doing essays/reports about how like maybe the iPhone changed the world or stuff like that. rather than how erm, my internship helped me grow up in life. or like, how did CHS help me apply stuff that i learn in my internship. or like erm, how the industry is growing. sigh.

and its 5000 words worth! excluding the summary part. sigh.


so well. nothing's up with life recently. just that i have been pretty much hooked up on this new show that i found, called Cougar Town. it makes me such a happy girl i can stay home all day to finish it. but now i'm pretty dreading it cos i'm like, 5 episodes away from the ending and i dont like having any withdrawal symptoms so... i dont know what to do :(

after choinging this stupid thing, i've got a stupid 3D2N camp to attend next week. and minusing all these unnecessary stuff, i've got not much time left before i officially FLY. there are SO many things i wanna do! but time is not on my side!


its kinda scary that i'm flying off so soon. i dont wanna go :(
i'm only looking forward to all the winter clothing :(
superficial, i know.

Hi, i HAVE TO get this out of my system before i sleep. or i'll sleep without peace.

it PISSES me off when girls support teams and watch WC because of guys. and go all 'ahhh torres coming on now! villa!' etc etc. and scream/shout for them JUST COS THEY LOOK GOOD. in actual fact, they DONT EVEN KNOW anything about the players at all.

granted, i've backslided from my first love for a few months now. but i think i've got enough soccer experience to have a right to feel pissed. because it is SO superficial and just trying to look cool/sound cool watching soccer and all. URGH.

but then again, first match i've watched since i moved here. and i must say i still love the intensity of the game, and the emotions. the tactics, the players, the team, the unity. soccer has NEVER BEEN about a cute guy/a couple of nice looking chaps. it HAS ALWAYS BEEN a team, strategies, etc. and i dont know why but i feel very cheapened when i see girls just kinda... anyhow support, watch WC cos of guys etc.

i think i'm being very lol and ridiculous here but it really gets to me. i even msged eugene ang in the middle of the match to complain and he even agreed with me. lol!

just cos you watch soccer for WC doesnt make you cool!

pfffftttt okay. i let out the angsty side of me alr.
looking forward to new season!!
liverpool is where my heart really belongs <3 (lemme do this for once)

guess i am not much of a 'country' supporter to start with, thus i didnt get involved in all the hooha. my first ever team that i supported was Brazil in 2002. but after that, i couldnt find a reason to anymore. and... i've always been a Gerrard thus England kinda girl. but hmmm... i am just a Liverpool kinda girl after all. LOL.

每当我感到一点感性的时候，我最想用中文来表达。
承认，自己的水准不好。但是它是一个让我感到最亲切的语言。

（在读下去之前，一句话：请不要这么快下判断。）

最近总觉得迷失了自己。在茫茫人海中，找不到自己存在的意义。突然感到，成长是多么累人的事。不是说自己任性不想长大，但是发现自己越大，更不了解自己。成长的路上，自己内心的挣扎和疑问，那么的复杂...很多时候都不知该用什么话来形容自己的感受和心情。

你可以说，其实婷婷一向来都不善于表达。
我现在最想最想的事，就是回到最初点。
回到没有包袱，没有担忧，没有任何别人对自己的期望的最初点。
回到真正的自己... 回到不必理别人怎么摆布你... 回到不必理任何规则、不必去想别人会怎么看待自己... 回到不需要对任何人交代，只需要对自己坦白... 回到...

总觉得自己的一面，和自己另外一面一直不停地拉扯。
一面，是‘我应该...’的那一面。
另一面，是‘我应该...’的相反。
一面不断地提醒自己正确的方式应该这样。我这么想是错误的，我这么做是不对的...
另一面，就是非常疲倦的那一面。很想很想把另一面撕破，不想照着任何规矩生活。不想听别人怎么说我的人生应该怎么样活。它知道别人会怎么想、会怎么看。但是它不想理会，它只想逃避生命的一切‘应该’。

如果我累了，我应该 －－－
现在20岁了，我应该 －－－
长大了，应该 －－－
事情不应该这样解决，应该 －－－
这样子错了！你应该 －－－
快要毕业了，未来怎么样？应该 －－－
看你到了这种程度，应该 －－－ ，做这个，做那个。

总觉得在每一个地方，都有一定的‘框框’限定我们。
一种人们认为‘对’的方式，来定游戏规则。
如有人犯规，马上有一大堆的人批评，指责。替这个人‘玩’。
在他背后，说他哪一个地方出错了牌，他应该怎么样，怎么样。
一脸不满，一脸自认为会玩得更好的表情。

那么，有没有人试着把自己化身为受害者想想和体会？
这世界有那么多的规则和不是了，是不是责骂、指责，就会比较好过些？


一切的一切...
我不知道自己在找什么，我不知道自己要证明什么。

我只知道，自己最后从心底真正开心的一次，不知有多久以前。

我只想真的快乐...


自己复杂的心情，有时连自己都...不明白。


dont judge me.
dont even try to understand when you dont.

J resigned today. Y is going to, tmr. so far, i've witnessed 9 people leaving. had alot of feelings and thoughts abt the whole thing, but it kinda got lost somewhere. there are... 6 more weeks left. and these 5 months seem like the hardest going ever in my life. i've never met anyone like this in my life, other than my dad. but that was entirely different. was just kinda reflecting on the whole thing.

realised that sometimes, even when you gave your best, it doesnt mean that it'll be appreciated and often it goes unnoticed. i've got so many awesome leaders over me in church, that for a period of time, i couldnt comprehend how can anyone really be that mean outside church. maybe i've always been in a sheltered, encouraging place, so when placed in such a negative environment, i had alot of problems and issues at first.

what i was super discouraged about at first, was that i felt i wasnt being really recognized for who i am, what i am good at. and that sucks. being deemed as this impossible and 没有用 person, it wasnt exactly the most flattering place to go to everyday.

but after taking time to reflect and think through, the existence of such people in my life is necessary. it is precisely these kinda people in your life that sifts the good out in you. it has the opposite effect, it brings out much positivity than negativity.

i asked J a few days ago, so what have you learned while working here. she answered, she learnt how to obey and submit, even when she really dont want to. and i was quite impressed.

to others, it may seem foolish to obey and submit to someone such as this. the normal reaction would be, to talk back, argue back, fight. but if you were to think more, it produces much patience in you. and just like what another colleague said, 'you learn how to be bullet-proof'.

even at the end of the day, i think the greatest lesson i've learnt is that my life and abilities are not defined by what others may think or say. i know what i am good at, and i'm proud of it. if you have this absolute confidence in you, nothing can get you down. so i'm at peace, i'm totally fine, and i will endure for these 6 weeks.

just like what my ex-colleague said, i may not learn anything while i am here, but at least i learnt what NOT to do.


sometimes, the greatest naysayer may be your greatest encourager.

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i would so totally do this for my wedding! releasing red heart balloons into the sky! such a happy and beautiful and memorable way to celebrate it!



i think one of my weaknesses is the inability to make a decision. when making decisions, i am sometimes so indecisive that i cant stand myself. and i do get frustrated with myself for being like that too cos i hate indecisiveness, but ironically, i am one. i think i got better over the years, i used to be much worst. working on it :)

hi... just thought of updating this little humble space of mine.

just suddenly dawned upon me the xxx amount of money i start spending on skincare/cosmetics. adding clothes, i spent xxx in recent months too. and add the occasional nail polish splurge, xx is gone too. whenever i walk pass craft shops, i'll tend to spend xx on them too.

adding them all up, i'm just kinda overwhelmed how high my expenses are going. being a woman is really no cheap stuff.


on a side note, really sad all the shows are going for their summer break now. :( no more things to look forward to on tues/wed. only left last episode of glee!


just painted my nails a mushroomy colour. cant decide how do i feel abt them now, let me live with it for a day first. haha. but this is a colour i have been pinning on since forever so i'm happy! only left with grey, and i would be a happy girl (but not satisfied i think). hahaha.

feeling so !!!!!! and i need a place to rant. seriously whats up with her?! another person with big communication problem and yet always sees it as other people's fault. ya la always us interns fault. spent the whole day searching and doing ur storyboard, end up totally not what u want. um, at the beginning when u saw us doing, u could have just explained one by one what u are looking for right? isnt this wasting time by redoing the whole thing? i really find it so unnecessary and i think it just boils down to poor communication. and its so even more frustrating when theres nothing i can do about it. and having to see all your black faces and being pissed off when actually i didnt even do anything wrong. i just find it really ridiculous how you direct your anger and you get so upset over matters like these. i know who i am and i know what i'm good at. but you make me totally feel so lousy sometimes. please know what you exactly want, and please communicate to your employees exactly. and please LISTEN to your employees! or else unnecessary work needs to be done and i really find it very frustrating cos i was really looking forward to the weekends and having a good rest finally but i need to stay up to do all these. i havent been sleeping well since AC and i kinda need it alot. just being all pmsy and grumpy here. argh. shall do what i could have done this AFTERNOON now! ARGH! all of you reading please be a NICE and UNDERSTANDING boss next time!!!

just wanna blog this out before i zonk out. my pre-AC feelings.

it was a very mixed feeling to be honest. and really seeing all the backstage people slogging so hard before AC preparing the 1001 million things is really an eye-opener. people still working hard beyond 1/2/3am that sort. grateful that once again i am able to serve, but this time kinda feeling a little bit worn out even before the whole thing begins. i guess there is a reason for 'one week' instead of 'three days' because tonight i can definitely feel the after effects of it finally. just pray that i'll have enough energy and all to last me thru these 5 days. i need the concentration and the sharpness. maybe because i attended rehearsals these two days, so the excitement kinda wore off. but i guess when the real thing starts there would be. and seriously, it is so amazing to see the kinda sacrifices people make for this AC. all the different departments, ministries etc. there isnt one who didnt put in any hard work for this AC. i love backstage.

so hello to early calltimes, late nights home again. plus all the cabs. and waking-up-at-5ams.

it is gonna be good cos lots of people worked so so hard for this.
it is gonna be good cos well, its AC!

need lots of grace!

okay only left 3.5h left to sleep!

it was a really surreal experience on thurs. realised everything had to happen 'in spite of'. no matter how scared/anxious i am, things still have to go on.

probably it is very hard for anyone to understand, but i have had lots of mixed feelings these couple of days. 'what ifs' and fears, mixed with lots of other stuff. got me quite messed up that i needed to distract myself today, by.. guess what? painting my nails and doing random stuff like making a tissue flower.

feeling of aloneness is pretty evident esp today. so i kinda slept it all away. helps when the painkillers do have drowsiness effects. scared for the week to come, if you were to ask me. but.. hope for the better yeah?

only good thing about being 'sick' is that somehow, you have the rights to demand anything. today i just randomly smsed my mum to tell her that i'm craving for spaghetti and asked if shes cooking tonight. she replied, 'be home at 6'. and voila! came home with all the sauces and she whipped up such a big bowl of spaghetti with all my fave mushrooms and egg and tomatoes. it was yummy. felt x1000 better instantly.



gonna try to take a bath now. wish me luck.

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perfect for weather like this. raining, me snugly in bed. BUT not sleeping. i am doing my report and explains why i'm awake at this ungodly hour. havent been up this late since 10238432 years ago.

i wanted to post these pics for the longest of time that i dont even remember where did i find all these pictures.

listened to her new song, listening to her old songs. there is just this deep admiration for her. i relate to her so much. if i can choose who i want to be, i would probably choose to be her. (not that it makes any sense, but you get me.) she just... inspires me..


and maybe thats the beauty of chinese. the use of words, the impression it leaves behind. the impact the words can make. the irony that i'm saying and blogging all these in english.

and.. there is just something about her voice.. how it pierces through to your innermost and resonates. and there is something so tender about a girl, singing and playing a guitar, just doing what she loves. and she is always so humble and shy!

all these aside, she does have the perfectest hair.

i just adore and love her so much.




PS. i think i am a blessed girl. i have so many people to look up to in some many areas and on so many levels. :)

i wanted to blog abt this a few days ago but didnt have the time. but after today, i felt even more about this.


even as we go through life, discovering new things, new places, new grounds. we do discover lots of traits and things about ourselves too. and even as we take the time to discover ourselves, i always thought that it takes a lifetime to find out about yourself. i guess cos things are always changing, thus we do change too. and different circumstances, you'll find different sides of yourself coming out.

if you realise, all of us have got so many sides in each of us, the 101 different tingtings living in one tingting. some really amazing, some really cool, some really funny, some just crappy, some trashy, some just plain unbelievable in the bad way. and all these different sides live in the same body and same person.

and, it takes us to accept and love ourselves in every single 'tingting' and side. people grow in love and acceptance, not condemnation. i believe the same applies to ourselves too. it is easy to love ourselves when we are just really good and amazing, but do you still love yourself when you are down and out and the terrible side shows?

i feel that sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves. our imperfections, our weaknesses. we refuse to accept ourselves in that way, cos we dont want to be that way. and maybe, it will in turn lead to self-condemnation, self-blame, self-inflicted pain.

sometimes, the most amazing thing to do is to give it space. give yourself space. to be who you are. even the most imperfect side of yourself. just let it be. acknowledge that you do have such a side in you, knowing is already the first step. then give it space, to grow. even as you learn to let go, to not be so harsh on yourself, you will start to realise those imperfections do have a chance to go away.

who says you cant be imperfect? who says you must always lie and be another you, when you are actually like that?

just be yourself, discover the 101 different sides in you. when you find an imperfect one, dont panic, dont be too harsh, dont be too quick to blame yourself and judge. just let that side of you be.




space. breathing space.
and patience and understanding will flow.

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i think these are soo pretty i melted when i saw them quite some time ago. i'd really say yes. something unique other than diamonds. loveee.

i seriously dont normally do this. in fact, never done before. but this year, i really really strongly feel that people should spend their money wiser if they are going to spend at all, so i just randomly thought of this guide to help you along.

this is if, you wanna buy something la (which you are strongly encouraged to). i not so bhb one. i just trying to make the job easier for anyone who is interested in buying. if not interested its seriously fine with me one, just that working adults like wong cek ark is the exception.

just wanna say i feel super disconnected with the world or something now. havent blogged for a few days, havent read my emails properly, havent read ALOT of blogs, havent caught up with all the stuff going on. plus i havent watch my shows!

okay soon soon. i'll have the time soon.


ok now for bed! way past bedtime!

OKAY! i said i was going to bed at 12am but i cant resist. goodness me! i dont know what came over me but i'm sooooooo obsessed with DIY stuff nowadays like seriously! now how i wish i got loads of time to try all these ideas!! and giving to random people!

i wanna try making

• homemade jams, just so i can use those PRETTY labels
• buy marshmallows/anything and put them into packets, just so i can use those bag toppers!
• make lotssssss of birthday cards!
• make lots of different party invitation cards!
• buy tea leaves and jars just so i can use those tea labels!!
• bake a cake, just so i can use those fab diy template to give away to people!
• self make lip balms/body scrubs/bath fizzles just so i can package them prettily and give them to people!
• print wraparound envelope labels, and paste them on white/brown envelops just because they are SO pretty!!
• strong urge to tear away every oil/vinegar/soy sauce bottle labels in the kitchen and paste them with pretty ones just because that are THAT pretty!!
• make popcorn so that i can put them into brown bags and print labels to stick on the bags!
• have an ice cream parlour party, just cos its SOOOO adorable and pretty!!!
• make origami heart invites! soooo detailed and cool!
• make my own postcards/notebooks!
• make lots of gift tags!

THE ice cream parlour!! how awesome and exciting is it?! see what i mean?!


i'm dying of prettiness. if theres such a thing. now i feel that seriously, 24h is not enough! i havent been this obsessed and excited in a long while!

okay im REALLY going to sleep now, while dreaming of pretty stuff. night!!!

i was making a mental note to myself today of a new series of things i would like to collect. then i was recalling back what i used to collect, and i realised it was a trait since young.





saw these lovelies on a website that i happened to pass by. and i immediately recalled my childhood favourite hobby. brought back soooo many good memories.

before i was born, my dad was an avid stamp collector. he had many stamp albums and was very proud of them. when i was of age to understand what are stamps, he used to show me all his albums, and explain to me where the different stamps came from. he would have this whole stack of uncategorised stamps, and we would spend the whole sunday afternoon categorising them. we would sort them out according to their types, like there was this booklet on faces, another on plants, another on fishes/animals, and just some random ones. and we would arrange them according to their colours.

every other day when my dad opened the mailbox, i would excitedly run to him, and take out all those which had stamps on them, put them aside, and tear out the stamps on the envelopes. we would accumulate one whole stack together. i was most excited when my dad or mum received a mail from overseas, because that meant more stamps, and even more unique ones. i remember i would exclaim out loud if there was any new stamp that we do not have in the albums, and would run around showing everyone in the family.

we would sit down, dad and daughter, with a pail of water, soak all the torn out stamps into it to separate the paper and glue, patiently wait, rub away any excess glue, and lay it out on newspaper to dry. after waiting, sorting them in categories, and slot them into their respective places in the albums. that was one of my favourite days in my growing up time. we do that almost once every month. but every sunday, i would excitedly ask my dad, "can we do the stamps today?!", and my dad would only say yes if we had collected enough.

one of my favourite things was to sit there, and listen to his stories as well. sometimes he could even remember how the different stamps came from, and he would explain and tell me all the details. i really loved that.

eventually, that hobby of mine died away when singapore post came out with same and recurring stamps, without any variety or uniqueness anymore. and when lesser and lesser people mailed letters to my mum or dad, comprising mostly of automated stamped thing that bills and bank accounts use. and finally, we stopped altogether.

it was bittersweet recalling all these memories.. wonder where are all those stamp albums now. its quite a sad thing now all these is slowly dying away, i guess thats why i still love sending mails.. (yes i hear you jiaxin). it was especially bittersweet cos this is one of the few good memories i still have... stamps... :) i guess i always have a soft spot for this kinda thing..

i finally bought my noticeboard-like board today from artfriend. been procrastinating for the past, 6 months?! (its alot bigger, just some random pic i got from the net)

i have a 1001 ideas buzzing through my head now, with my laptop containing so many new pictures and downloads that i am dying to try. these few days i almost spent the whole day going through websites after websites looking at lots of exciting stuff. wonder if my new rectangle love can contain so many ideas! but i really wanna try! so exciting to see a blank board transforming into something of a personality :)

but first gotta find the time and resources! now i really wish my printer was in colour instead of black and white :(

i'm really really excited for my new adventure. wondering how it'll turn out. i also have an idea to transform my wall into like this:

(pardon for the low quality pics i am too blurry eyed to use photobucket now)

cool huh! but i guess that project will have to wait! after my board thing first. but erm, actually, how do i drill a hole into my wall? will there be any side effects or is it totally safe huh?

okay yawnssss. sleep now. wayyyyyyy past my bedtime.

funny how i get so hyped up about decorating my room when its like, already 6 months i'm staying here. (note to self: still procrastinating about quilt cover/proper table/bookshelf! ahhhh! ok i will get it done soon.)

the most un-tingting thing happened in tingting's everyday 9-6 life. something that i think is quite rare for me to do, something that i guess never happened before in this context?

i dont think that i am ever a rash person, i always almost think about every possibility and outcome before i make any decision or do anything serious. and most of the time, i'll just let things be and not care.

on that day, i took a very long time to think long and hard before i did anything. thought about the situation, about the outcomes, about the options that i have before me. and that afternoon, i was asked to go to the post office. with 倔强 playing in my ears on repeat mode, i thought even further. i thought about being right or wrong. i thought about making the right or wrong decision. i thought what would be considered rash. i thought what would be appropriate and 'right' in this situation.

and i also checked my heart, and played back each incident that happened, and asked myself if there was anything that i feel i could have done better, or let myself down. i checked my attitudes, i checked my intentions.

i just felt that, for whatever that happened, i did it because for once, i wanted to stand up for myself. i could have just allowed it to pass and just let it go. but there was a very strong feeling inside of me, that rejected this idea strongly. for once, i wanted change, i wanted to have a say. i didnt want to continue everyday life as it is, even if it was to continue like this, i didnt want things to continue without her knowing what i wanted to say.

and was just thinking to myself, even if i made a mistake, let me learn, let me be taught. but i just wanted to not be sorry to myself, and just learn to stand up for once.

and i admit, i did learn alot from this. reflecting on it today (and i'm kinda glad the meeting didnt take place today or i wouldnt have this period of time to think thru and reflect), i may not have chose the best option, and i will apologise. and, i did learn alot in other ways too. how to control and dont be rash etc.

maybe people think its foolish or immature of me doing that. maybe lots of people think i made the wrong decision. but seriously, in a lot of situations, there isnt any right/wrong, and there can be lots of better options too. but in my stance, i did what i felt was right. even if it turns out otherwise, i'm willing to learn i'm willing to change. doing something, for me, for once.

now i'm just leaving everything into God's hand. i did what i can, now its not my own fight anymore. as long as i can stand blameless before God. and let this whole thing make me a better person.




sis' birthday tmr. wondering if i shld go sleep now, or i shld make her a card. or i shld do that tmr instead. hmmm. lol.

im tired physically/mentally in a way. tired of defending myself. for one last time on thurs.

they are like the best pics i can find online of ytd.. :(


prior to the concert, i was struggling real hard if i should go for it. money issues. but at the last minute, i still went ahead with it, although bought only the $38 tic. when i went into the stadium, for the first time ever, i was seriously disappointed. i was a bit like hmmmm. cos my seat sucks. but well it IS $38 afterall. but i did expect alot more. so half of my excitement was gone alr. what with the rain and it delayed the schedule big time. to be honest, i wasnt used to my sucky seats, cos i ALWAYS had really really good seats. thanks to my sis' friend. and counting, this is my 7th mayday concert, 6 i had super good seats. so you can imagine la. lol.

i felt so far away from the action and excitement, and ah xin was as small as my fingernails. i was seriously quite sad. my section was so cut off! and i couldnt see the stage properly. :( but yeah.. i just treated it as my ktv session. i sang loud! but very out of tune. hehe.

i always pride myself in saying that i'm NOT the ordinary fan. you wont see me splurging on their merchandise, buying all those shirts, screaming just to touch one of them (okay la i will get excited la but not in that way!), and just you know... typical fans. haha. so hmmm yes, i am still very much a fan, but a different sort. if there is ever this kinda genre.

overall, i really enjoyed myself. the fireworks was the best part. it was so pretty! the lights, and all. super wow. seeing how high it can go in the sky.

i just gotta say, i really really love mayday so much. it was such an endearing moment, to sit there and see it coming to pass. ah xin was saying 10 years ago, they were informed they are going overseas first time and to singapore to perform, and they did. since then they wished to have an outdoor concert, and ytd, they did.

just was thinking, wow 10 years! imagine how much they've accomplished in these 10 years! from a nobody, to where they are now. with practically no concert effects, to all those fireworks and the acts. even though every year when the concert is bigger, the distance between us is greater, but i truly felt so proud.

i guess to be able to conquer the outdoor stadium (not the whole thing), in such a small country like singapore does speak alot. in a big country, of course its easy to fill out the whole place, but such a place as singapore, it does give alot of satisfaction. considering that mandopop is not the only music here. so yes, i was so proud. :)

(oh, reading the book that i am now + mayday pounding away in your ears, seriously that is one of the most liberating thing to your soul ever. i felt so so liberated. freedom. cos the book + mayday's direction runs together and it is truly inspiring.)


i guess i can always identify so much with mayday because they've always been 'mad' in their own way. they have touched and inspired me in ways unimaginable. they are the living example of alot of things that people dare not pursue. they have such power in their hands, to impact the lives of so many. more than enjoying the concert, i always applaud their efforts of trying to convince more people, even if its one, to live out their lives, to break out of the norm, and to love. it is no easy task.

and i was just thinking the other day, how hard it is, to be in their position and their stature, to keep churning things out to inspire, to excite, to create. because it means it must be greater, it must be better, it must be fresher. but well, they did it. again and again and again. and to dream again and again, conquering new grounds, spreading their beliefs. because more than all these, they are deep people themselves. okay, i speak for ah xin only cos i guess i only seen him before this way.

i dont know why am i always so attracted to people like this, but well. he is one love of my life that i'll forever admire. and well, i always wondered what is it like to be living their lives. to always be living on the edge, to always do what you love, everyday, living it to the extreme. must be really cool.

okay such a long post. should stop now. but just got to say again, i really love mayday alot. :) and i promised myself and made a deal with surina to never again miss their concert, and to always splurge on their tics cos its so worth it. but then again, $168 x 6, i think i spent more than a thousand on them alr plus cds n dvds etc. wow! price to pay for a fan! but its all WORTH it.

am currently 3/4 into a book, and it provoked me in a way. and i thought alot about the book, its content and what it is trying to bring across. kinda curious what the ending is though.

there were 3 cases of psychiatric patients in the book, describing their road to 'madness' and how they ended up in a mental hospital. and that got me thinking alot.


just how powerful is our mind?


it seems that it can inflict and manipulate us to have panic, depression, psychosis, be schizophrenic etc? we dont know the limits that our minds can take us. but reading the cases of psychiatric patients, it seems that, they allowed themselves at one point of their lives, to give in to this 'mind' thing. so is it true that all cases can be avoided by simply positivity and a stronger mind?

when that thought first came, i thought it was naivety and absurd cos erm, what about psychology right? and all.

but ytd during BS kim hock said that none of us was born unhappy or depressed, and that happiness sometimes is a choice, not just a feeling. he said that kids are always happy, only unhappy times 1) diapers 2) hunger 3) sick, therefore we can always make the choice to be happy. and isnt it true that eventually as we grow up, we experience so many different things, that we sometimes forget what being happy is all about. our default mood since young should be happy right? and somehow, we just allowed ourselves to choose otherwise.


so does it apply for grown ups too? is it true that by controling our own minds, we can have such power that is unimaginable? instead of letting our minds control us.

but yeah i know, easier said than done. experienced it myself. but perhaps that is why decisions are so vital and important, and choices are so essential.


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okay that being said, i love love loveeeeeeee my new nail polish colour. hong kong collection from OPI, Suzi Says Fengshui. super chio. :) it is like ice soy chai latte - it gets better by the sip.

you know how nice it is to admire your own nails here and then? such pretty colours cheer you up at ANY time. thus you see, the importance of pretty nails. and thats why me buying polishes = an investment for a better life. :)


(okay PS i just pinky promised myself - after this round of books i WILL go back to read my chinese books. promise.)

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lovezzxzzx that quote.
though i dont 'get pictures taken' but i totally second what she said even if its different context.
i'm such a hopeless homebody sometimes.

and my bag broke halfway home! how embarrassing is it!

gotta go back and do some old school stuffzxxzx.
enjoy your week everybuddy.

okay so this is my 5th week as an intern.

i do have alot of thoughts and all about being one. but never once have i realised how consuming it would be. more than the boss-and-me thing going on, it is the whole 9-6 routine thats kinda confusing my body in a way. now, i can no longer stay past 1am, actually, 11pm is already quite a difficulty.

now i truly understand how physically tiring it is to hold a proper job. everyday when you end, you just want to go home, settle down and sleep.

realised that:

1) i've not caught up with my emails, i used to be so particular about clearing my emails, deleting them etc. now, i only open those that i wanna read, the rest i just leave it there. so goodness! i have 310 unread mails now, which in ting2_1990's history, there is no such thing.

2) i have a whole list of blogs (73 in total. gosh! didnt know i followed so many) on my mac mail on RSS feed, and i used to be super particular abt it too, every single post of every single blog must be read. but now, i have SO many unread posts from SO many blogs, i only read the impt ones.

3) i used to go on msn every other day or every night, but since i started work for 5 weeks, i think i've only been online for less than 5 times? and the offline msgs all flood in when i sign in. lol.

4) and! i do follow a few shows and download movies and all. i used to be faithfully watching them right after they are out but now, i cant even find the strength to finish watching one epi at night, cos i'll fall asleep. so i split it over two days to finish an epi now. kua zhang!

5) i am such an online addict, i cant live without going online or using my laptop every night. but now, i dont even switch on my mac for days on straight anymore. i just go for my bed every night. (okay actually this is the reason for all of the above)


um so yes. if you havent realise it, tingting is undergoing such a weird change in lifestyle that used to be so impossible. now, i actually CAN hear my alarms in the morning!

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and on a sidenote, after experiencing this kinda life for 5 weeks, i truly understand what Post Office by Charles Bukowski is talking about. am currently reading another book on death & life now, and it kinda brings alot of messy thoughts.

because it is so easy to let life be a routine, a 9-6, a repetition of what you did yesterday, a continuation of what you are going to do today, and you just let yourself be, getting used, going through life, going through the motion.

and soon, you'll lose the reason for doing anything, and it just keeps going on and on and you dont understand and dont really get why. and sometimes... you just kinda wanna break free from it. i find myself doing lesser and lesser the things that i love doing, i find myself having lesser and lesser time for myself, starting to live life just living but not really participating. if you get what i mean.

(and i think thats why now i love every bus ride and train ride, i get to be myself again. and i read and read. the best part of my day is the time spent on buses - for reading. and i managed to finish a few books already!)

thats why, i now understand what mayday has been singing about all along. haha. i dont know if i make any sense, but i feel that its so so true for me.

maybe kinda in the phase that i wanna do something crazy and out of the world this time, just to defy the routine-ness. like scream and shout like mad. i guess i need a mayday concert now :(

well i guess the ingredient missing in tingting's everyday life is - passion.
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this is my new fave blogger. not fashion one for once. but when i go to her site, i somehow always feel peaceful and happy. just feel so simple and carefree somehow. and some of her posts are really very cool :)


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be thankful always,
be simple,
be positive,
be happy. always.

did i mention before how i love making lists?
i love numbering them, and seeing my list lengthening :) such a great pleasure. i am making a few lists for this year, started in jan :)



as i was attending easter services this weekend, had a lot of thoughts. and just felt so strongly that it is so important to not get carried away by the busyness of life. i find it especially so true since now i've started working and all. it is so so easy to wake up - work - home or random stuff - sleep, and next day just repeats itself. without knowing it, it becomes a routine and a duty.

and that is why i guess its very important to have a cause for your life - something you are willing to die for, and fight for. a root that you constantly remind yourself of, when your flesh is tired, when you are just down. may be anything in life, but i think its important to find that one cause, you are willing to go all the way for.



also, isnt it really simple but yet sometimes so complicated? you know, actually women all want someone who cares/understands/loves/protects? as i was watching the easter drama i just suddenly felt so. hmmm random. lol.


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i want to feel the freedom once again.


pretty saddened in my heart recently. some stuff going on at work. everyday going there seems to be like, a chore.


i kept wondering if its me or what did i do wrong. but i checked my heart and i can tell you honestly, i didnt.


if you know me well enough, you would know that i always give my best and try to do things as excellently as possible. and i love doing things fast. given something to do, i will complete it. given something to find out, i will find a solution for you. given the chance, i would help out in anything. i care for details. yes, i would err and do wrong things too. but tell me, let me know, teach me how to do it and i'll change and give you back the best.

and that is why it saddens me so much that i am accused like that, and filed into such category at work, that i'm incompetent and not doing my work seriously. when did i not give my best in these four weeks i'm here? when did i ever submit sloppy work when it is my duty? when did i not meet the deadline when given one?

i just feel so trapped, and so wronged. but what can i do? i can only continue to do best at what i'm given, and hopefully clear my name.


i always start something new, hoping to learn things, hoping to experience new things. and i am just kinda disappointed at how things turned out. but i guess, everyone else sees my effort other than the most important one.


but well, i will still try to continue with a good attitude regardless. and hopefully time will pass faster till july.