did i mention before how i love making lists?
i love numbering them, and seeing my list lengthening :) such a great pleasure. i am making a few lists for this year, started in jan :)



as i was attending easter services this weekend, had a lot of thoughts. and just felt so strongly that it is so important to not get carried away by the busyness of life. i find it especially so true since now i've started working and all. it is so so easy to wake up - work - home or random stuff - sleep, and next day just repeats itself. without knowing it, it becomes a routine and a duty.

and that is why i guess its very important to have a cause for your life - something you are willing to die for, and fight for. a root that you constantly remind yourself of, when your flesh is tired, when you are just down. may be anything in life, but i think its important to find that one cause, you are willing to go all the way for.



also, isnt it really simple but yet sometimes so complicated? you know, actually women all want someone who cares/understands/loves/protects? as i was watching the easter drama i just suddenly felt so. hmmm random. lol.


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i want to feel the freedom once again.


pretty saddened in my heart recently. some stuff going on at work. everyday going there seems to be like, a chore.


i kept wondering if its me or what did i do wrong. but i checked my heart and i can tell you honestly, i didnt.


if you know me well enough, you would know that i always give my best and try to do things as excellently as possible. and i love doing things fast. given something to do, i will complete it. given something to find out, i will find a solution for you. given the chance, i would help out in anything. i care for details. yes, i would err and do wrong things too. but tell me, let me know, teach me how to do it and i'll change and give you back the best.

and that is why it saddens me so much that i am accused like that, and filed into such category at work, that i'm incompetent and not doing my work seriously. when did i not give my best in these four weeks i'm here? when did i ever submit sloppy work when it is my duty? when did i not meet the deadline when given one?

i just feel so trapped, and so wronged. but what can i do? i can only continue to do best at what i'm given, and hopefully clear my name.


i always start something new, hoping to learn things, hoping to experience new things. and i am just kinda disappointed at how things turned out. but i guess, everyone else sees my effort other than the most important one.


but well, i will still try to continue with a good attitude regardless. and hopefully time will pass faster till july.