have been down with fever. originally was 38.1 then fell to 37.5. and now i know all the dizzy spells are due to low blood count. and the doc asked me to eat more stuff, protein/vitamins that sort. cos apparently mine is very low, not just low.

am feeling much better now. but i still feel a bit ...

actually i seldom fall sick, so this kinda surprised me. but yeah i'll be much better soon soon.


--------------------------------------------------

and you know how i just kinda really dislike it when people dont reply your smses.

even right in the midst of being so busy and all. i simply dont believe we should be engulfed in it and stop loving, stop sharing, stop asking. we fail to notice those around us.

what can you be so busy with that you simply can ignore loving just like that?
taking things for granted..

and that is why, when we are soo busy, we musnt forget, never forget, to still love.


because ultimately, love created us, and love died for us. its the greatest thing of all.
simple, but yet profound.


sometimes, sick and tired of me pressing in. what about you? when was the last time you even asked a simple 'how are you'?


must never never fail to care, to concern, to share, to love.

i can only say.. finally.. finally!

thank you Jesus.

from the inside out.

read this story last week:

The Story Of A Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point, he asked: 'Are you writing a story about what we've done? Is it a story about me?'

His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: 'I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I'm using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.'

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn't seem very special. 'But it's just like any other pencil I've ever seen!'

'That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.

'First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.

'Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he's much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.

'Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.

'Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.

'Finally, the pencil's fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action.'



ultimately, it is not a "why me?" situation, but a "what can i get out of this?" and a "what makes me a better person after this?" experience.

when we all have that thinking and mindset, we are always trusting, always knowing, always in faith. because afterall, it is God who controls.

would you rather have a smooth sailing life,
or one you know you'll go through many trials and tribulations but the lessons learnt and caught are way priceless than anything you can ever imagine or think?


and we shall all come out victorious,
because we are God's own children.

pictures from long long agooo:


ecp with mahjong gang! before school started.


can you feel the loveeeeeee.


eddie showing his love for 5 girls.











and over easter:


the v happening us. haha.



(caryn will know the reason of this post lol!)

k btw, had a great time with the mahjong people as usual. though we bought a little too much food. haha. it was irritatingly funny that day man. the bees and mouse! haha.

lesson of the day: bees love sprite. haha.



had music crew meeting ytd! it was funnnn! haha. nowadays cheesiang is like super high and he cracks me up ALL the time!! hahaha!


and apparently my msn got some virus thing la. haha. so some robot will sign into my acct and send those links to everyone. i changed my pw alr. so hopefully it doesnt happen. it must be microsoft's fault cos nothing like this ever happens to mac. (haha!)

btw i havent shut my mac down since wednesday alr. haha. cool huh. i just shut the lids thats all. i find it way easier. and since it runs as per normal.. might as well. lol.


AND! i had a near-fainting experience on sat which really scared me. and i've been having dizzy spells here and then. hmmmm.


OH! yeong donglin is finally out of the army after 2 weeks. it really rocks when he can just pick up your call and reply your sms immediately. haha. so cool. we've been missing him ard!



K BYEEE! (caryn: long enough alr. haha!!)

谁会勇敢地，与众不同？

谁会在无望的时候，记得当时的第一次感动？

谁会不顾一切，不管有多艰难，继续为那快被遗忘的梦而奋斗？

又有几个，愿意舍下一切，跟随？

虽单独，但绝不孤独。

梦，都是要自己争取的。
梦，是值得努力奋斗的。


人生不怕风浪只怕自己没志气 。

fridays saturdays sundays will miraculously fill up with things to do each week.


went out to celebrate my sis' birthday 3 days late at sushi tei today tog with mama aunt uncle cousin and her bff.

i seriously enjoyed it so so much. it was one of the best dinners we've ever had. everyone just poked fun at each other and we were all laughing hard at the end of the day. and it was just so so enjoyable. bought liverpool's jersey for my sis (haha. so that i can wear too.) yay so now i have the latest jersey! :)

then my sis drove and we went to dempsey hill's ben&jerry. it was so cool! my first time ard that area. and i enjoyed myself so so so much again. and i was singing loudly and all in the car. the shuangest thing ever!



looking back, i'm so so glad i took the effort and time to grow and sow into this relationship. this time last year and now, its so different. my sis and i grew so much closer and its that kind that we exchange glances and we both know exactly what the other is thinking and we'll burst out laughing. haha. its super cool.

and now, she shares everything with me. which is a great great progress in itself. last time, i dont even know who she hangs out with or who is wooing her. but now, she tells me every process and abt every guy. (now shes out drinking teh with some guy). haha. so i really thank God for it.

:)


yay. im super happy today.

for the past few days with the exception of tues, i have been like sleeping before 2 or something. so now i feel really guilty and really tired. it is currently 2.43am. omg and im going to be gone alr.

k goodbye internet world.

when i came home today, i told mama that tmr after celebrating my sis' birthday must go eat ben and jerry cos i've got vouchers and it expires tmr.

so we were talking and talking abt ben and jerry. then the topic jumped to other stuff and about my school.


so i was preparing to eat my dinner/supper. (after like about 5-10mins and a long pause).

she suddenly said: "eh, so tmr we'll go eat tom and jerry ar?"



lol!!! i tell you. i really LOLed at her!!!!! and whats worst, she didnt know what i was laughing at, until i explained to her tom and jerry is actually the cartoon. lol!!

frankly, i'm really excited for this sem. this sem i have loads of media related things and i love it. i love how the different aspects of the media make up such a mighty channel relating to different people. the media is so important.

i also love it. that it has been two days of school only, but the things that i hear from the lecturers, about life or media or the lesson itself, really sent me thinking. it is really such a joy, to enjoy what you are studying and to find that fulfillment, even though it may be tough. but the process is a satisfying one.


on tuesday, jingyun said something which really sent me goosebumps.
she said, "人生目标订得太迟，是件很恐怖的事。"

and she continued, saying that you may not need to know ultimately what you wanna do, but you need to at least know the road and path that you wanna take. some people realise too late, and by that time, they cant do anything abt it alr.

and from my observation, some choosing their roads and paths not cos their hearts tell them to, but it is the most comfortable to. so in the end, what is life to them?




nowadays i have been thinking a great deal more. listening to that voice inside of me speaking. cherishing each long journey alone. that solitude. pure fulfilling.




PS. i think i wont be going online these few days.. i think. got kinda tired of the whole online thing. only to check my mail etc.

it was another 4-4 match. it wasnt shuang because we dominated and could have killed the game but we didnt.

seriously man. that was 16 goals in 2 matches! all late night 3am matches too!

chaneng: "i think your life shortened by 10 years just by watching these two matches"
peter: "this is crazy, becoming like s league."


reina used to be the cleansheet king!! what is happeningggg?


haha. k lets pray that man u lose all their remaining 7 matches. then we'll definitely win the title. amen.

school is starting tmr! i'm half excited half sianed. cos i wish i had one more day to sleep in. haha. but okay la i'm still excited!


yay i'm gonna appear online less often and i'm gonna sleep earlier everyday.

my aim is to
1) not be late for classes
2) be at least 5-10 mins early for classes
3) work really hard


haha. i'm gonna try la k. haha.


had such a fun time laughing today. together with cheesiang, he is like SO funny! seriously i had such a good time the whole day laughing at him, and him laughing at me. haha. and the zulu tango tango (peter & mx's language). hahaha!


i'm feeling sleepy and happy and full and satisfied now. yay.






my heart really broke today..
still praying for you..





最美的愿望一定最疯狂

被火烧过才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向更适合飞翔

不怕千万人阻挡只怕自己投降



-倔強. i loveeeeeee that song still.
my ipod always miraculously shuffles to that song whenever i'm in the ---- mood. :)

i totally died tonight.


i resurrected, died, resurrected again, and died.



words really cannot describe how the last 90mins have been.


the end result was 4-4. thats 8 goals in 90 minutes.
so aggregate liverpool 5-7 chelsea.




i really dont know what to say.

it was like, HOPE and DISAPPOINTMENT and HOPE and DISAPPOINTMENT.



matches like this are not for the fainthearted.

i almost fainted when we scored the 4th goal. too ecstatic.

only to have chelsea scoring another.





i'm disappointed. but at the same time, proud. they have fought so well.


and seriously. the whole match just made me dislike drogba even more. hes the most irritating disgusting player ever in the whole universe.




what a match. we crashed out of champions league in the noblest way ever.


let me now go and sleep and try to make sense of the last 90 minutes. goodbye.

and PLEASE. its RESPECT. DONT LAUGH when you see any liverpool fans tmr. you've gotta give credit for that kinda fight.

"chelsea's advantage has nearly been wiped out in just half an hour." -- commentator.


the penalty from alonso just got in. its 2-0 now.


i was really tearing just now.


cant believe it.


but actually no, i believe it.


you tell me now, which mountain is too high to climb?!?

spent most of my afternoon lying on my bed and reading (i did not fall asleep). and it was good..! haha. was reminded of my good old pri sch and lower sec days. when i would come home and just lie there reading and reading till the sky is dark and got to get up to switch on the lights and continue reading till my mum calls me for dinner.

and after dinner, rushing back in and continue reading. haha. i used to have the aim of finishing the whole children's section in the library back then. haha.



is it just me? i really really have nothing to do online nowadays.




tonight!

chelsea vs liverpool!


something special abt liverpool is that we are a very magical club. haha. so miracles happen all the time.

i'm anticipating for a mighty miracle to happen tonight. 3-0 is not impossible.

its games like this that characters and determination are tested. and i know and i know that gerrard and co have been thru too many tests to fail this round.

so say with me: we'll win! :)


we need that istanbul kinda faith and belief to get us through. and you know that with gerrard's character, he wont back down easily without a good fight, even if it means giving his all. but then.. hes kinda injured.

aiya i can just keep rattling off. but i'm sure i'm very sure we'll get through this. it is just a very liverpool thing.

liverpool is a miracle-making club.

haha. excited!

oh!

and on monday, yeong donglin went into army.


its quite saddening actually.


but i believe it'll be great for him. :)

i wanted to break my own record of not being online 3 nights in a row. but apparently i failed. haha. cos i needed to do stuff and i ended up online.


soooooo easter is just over! it has been so busy and sometimes even intense! but it was quite cool cos even though i had many things to do, i made it a point to be busy with a purpose. so i was able to listen and learn things along the way.


helped out in cch's musical this year. and at first i thought it'll just be some rehearsals and all just help press some buttons, but i ended up doing more. and i learnt lots!


during the first JW service i was so touched somehow that i ended up tearing. haha. it is just way cool to see a team of people so committed and so together in one vision, and no matter how tired they are, once on stage they are like wow. and i met lots of new people too.. saw how they manage things and their capacities. it has been mind-enlarging.


i love backstage. i love witnessing things behind-the-scenes. because thats where you'll truly see how things run, and see exactly how much hard work everyone puts in. including all the smallest details that seemingly dont make much difference but in actual fact, make all the difference in the world.


had the chance to work with two funny guys, daniel and zhengyang. and together with van and darren, totally made my rehearsals..! lol.


this pic totally made me LOL the whole day!!!


i'll never forget how that joker daniel brought our walkie-talkie to burger king to save money on phone calls and getting embarrassed in the end. lollll!


it was fun la. and learnt loads. :)



nowadays, i really enjoy taking longer baths. and lying on my sofa and read.
its the last week of holidays. just let me slack a little while moreee.
AND! my timetable is totally ?!?!?!!!
:(



i told my sister that i just might end up naming my sons Torres or Gerrard. lol.



and recently i just lose all interest in going online! which is so not tingting!!

and my dearly beloved macbook needs a bath seriously.

and and! i'm actually quite excited to start school. :)

and and and! i'm left with two more books till the end of my round of english books. i shall start my chinese round soon soon. hahaha.

i'm suddenly insanely happy at this hour for no reason. haha.



and just when you really allow your heart to listen and see, you'll begin to learn so so much more and begin to see/listen to things that you normally dont. begin to catch things, and learn.



its amazing.

today i was so touched somehow that i was tearing. amazinggg.




by the grace of God! amen!

busy.


tired.


things to do.


but enlarged.


and challenged.


:)

陈绮贞




姐：“好像每天都得听她的歌才会complete."



still very sad that i missed the concert.
but i'll definitely go for the next one. not going to make it 3 misses.

she is such a great talent, and a 哲学家.

ecp 260309











soo many funny things happened. great time cycling before the guys went to SOT. :)

040409


three little pigs.


matrix


Lion King.


Venus Flytrap

highly amusing and funny people.

V-E-N-U-S! VENUS FLYTRAP!
WE CATCH INSECTS!
WOO-AH AH AH
VENUS FLYTRAP!


so amusing to see JJ and Angel and Michel so high. haha. great time.

and kokwee even forgot the words to 'twinkle twinkle little star' lol!

uploading the vids on fb. lol.

okay i was supposed to be asleep one hour ago. but i was on the way up and i saw that liverpool's match left a bit only so decided to finish watching it with sister. we were drawing at 0-0.


then my sis started telling me the number of silly chances they gave away and how luck is not on our side and all. and it was intense cos we kinda need to win every match to win the title now. so i started praying in my heart for the rest of the match.


then i asked God, can i have a little small request to end off my saturday on an even higher note?then whenever a liverpool player got the ball, i would say, God let this be the goal!


and then time went on and on. and soon it was 90min with 4mins injury time. but i refused to believe it cant be done! so i prayed even harder and i said, God! we seriously need a miracle!


and lo and behold! at the 92nd min, Benayoun scored!!!! i jumped up and squealed and my sister too. wowwwwww!!!!! i was seriously wowed!!!!!


after the excitement died down a little, my sister started saying 'faith, faith!'. and i thought she said 'faint' but she repeated 'faith' again. and i was a little stunned my sister used this word. though she meant it in a different way, but i thought, yes that word totally summed up my whole day!


even my sister said it is way amazing to score in injury time and get that crucial 3 points!


i answered my sister in my heart that it is purely God and only God. :)

you've been so busy all week that i felt that it has been very long since i last talked to you or something. so i really appreciate it that i had that small journey time and dinner time to just listen to you and all. impactful as always. thanks. :)



now i am able to blog and use my dearest macbook is all because of God. seriously. i left it on a very open bench at hort park and i only realised at queensway mrt. chionged back. about like what half an hour later? my laptop was still at the same position where i left it. i was like amazeddd. because there were so many people walking past and so many people there. but no one took my laptop!

xiaoting's first reaction was "this is really a miracle man".

in the cab me + xt prayed like mad. and i think dong prayed too. haha. i tell you it was really really God and i'm so seriously touched. what would my life be without my dearest laptop??






seriously i thought that it was really by the grace of God everything turned out well and that everything was fun and all. i seriously seriously dont know what i can do without God man. He showed me and i am just so so thankful.


i told God that i would be very happy once saturday ends. and i told Him that i would be even more so if the 3 different things worked out. and it really did. and He did more than that.


and once again, i was again amazed and wowed by her attitude. even though it was just a simple email, but wow. it flows out.



really thank You for everything everything everythingggg.. :)

busy busy veryyyyy busy.



details details.

i was whining and ranting over msn to donglin. and i was dragging my words and all.. haha. then he replied me, because its easter :) .


and ya though i alr know that. but what he said somehow, drilled something into me. it was like seeing things in another angle. it is all about giving. and in that instant, everything changed.




and its nice sometimes, to have friends who can understand and can fill in the .... moments when you have a lot to say but somehow, dont know how to say. :)

i was feeling very ..... the whole day. but after realising some stuff, i felt ...... .
haha. fill in the dotsssss. how funnnnn..!




thank You. :)