hello.

J resigned today. Y is going to, tmr. so far, i've witnessed 9 people leaving. had alot of feelings and thoughts abt the whole thing, but it kinda got lost somewhere. there are... 6 more weeks left. and these 5 months seem like the hardest going ever in my life. i've never met anyone like this in my life, other than my dad. but that was entirely different. was just kinda reflecting on the whole thing.

realised that sometimes, even when you gave your best, it doesnt mean that it'll be appreciated and often it goes unnoticed. i've got so many awesome leaders over me in church, that for a period of time, i couldnt comprehend how can anyone really be that mean outside church. maybe i've always been in a sheltered, encouraging place, so when placed in such a negative environment, i had alot of problems and issues at first.

what i was super discouraged about at first, was that i felt i wasnt being really recognized for who i am, what i am good at. and that sucks. being deemed as this impossible and 没有用 person, it wasnt exactly the most flattering place to go to everyday.

but after taking time to reflect and think through, the existence of such people in my life is necessary. it is precisely these kinda people in your life that sifts the good out in you. it has the opposite effect, it brings out much positivity than negativity.

i asked J a few days ago, so what have you learned while working here. she answered, she learnt how to obey and submit, even when she really dont want to. and i was quite impressed.

to others, it may seem foolish to obey and submit to someone such as this. the normal reaction would be, to talk back, argue back, fight. but if you were to think more, it produces much patience in you. and just like what another colleague said, 'you learn how to be bullet-proof'.

even at the end of the day, i think the greatest lesson i've learnt is that my life and abilities are not defined by what others may think or say. i know what i am good at, and i'm proud of it. if you have this absolute confidence in you, nothing can get you down. so i'm at peace, i'm totally fine, and i will endure for these 6 weeks.

just like what my ex-colleague said, i may not learn anything while i am here, but at least i learnt what NOT to do.


sometimes, the greatest naysayer may be your greatest encourager.

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i would so totally do this for my wedding! releasing red heart balloons into the sky! such a happy and beautiful and memorable way to celebrate it!



i think one of my weaknesses is the inability to make a decision. when making decisions, i am sometimes so indecisive that i cant stand myself. and i do get frustrated with myself for being like that too cos i hate indecisiveness, but ironically, i am one. i think i got better over the years, i used to be much worst. working on it :)

hi... just thought of updating this little humble space of mine.

just suddenly dawned upon me the xxx amount of money i start spending on skincare/cosmetics. adding clothes, i spent xxx in recent months too. and add the occasional nail polish splurge, xx is gone too. whenever i walk pass craft shops, i'll tend to spend xx on them too.

adding them all up, i'm just kinda overwhelmed how high my expenses are going. being a woman is really no cheap stuff.


on a side note, really sad all the shows are going for their summer break now. :( no more things to look forward to on tues/wed. only left last episode of glee!


just painted my nails a mushroomy colour. cant decide how do i feel abt them now, let me live with it for a day first. haha. but this is a colour i have been pinning on since forever so i'm happy! only left with grey, and i would be a happy girl (but not satisfied i think). hahaha.

feeling so !!!!!! and i need a place to rant. seriously whats up with her?! another person with big communication problem and yet always sees it as other people's fault. ya la always us interns fault. spent the whole day searching and doing ur storyboard, end up totally not what u want. um, at the beginning when u saw us doing, u could have just explained one by one what u are looking for right? isnt this wasting time by redoing the whole thing? i really find it so unnecessary and i think it just boils down to poor communication. and its so even more frustrating when theres nothing i can do about it. and having to see all your black faces and being pissed off when actually i didnt even do anything wrong. i just find it really ridiculous how you direct your anger and you get so upset over matters like these. i know who i am and i know what i'm good at. but you make me totally feel so lousy sometimes. please know what you exactly want, and please communicate to your employees exactly. and please LISTEN to your employees! or else unnecessary work needs to be done and i really find it very frustrating cos i was really looking forward to the weekends and having a good rest finally but i need to stay up to do all these. i havent been sleeping well since AC and i kinda need it alot. just being all pmsy and grumpy here. argh. shall do what i could have done this AFTERNOON now! ARGH! all of you reading please be a NICE and UNDERSTANDING boss next time!!!