hello.

just wanna blog this out before i zonk out. my pre-AC feelings.

it was a very mixed feeling to be honest. and really seeing all the backstage people slogging so hard before AC preparing the 1001 million things is really an eye-opener. people still working hard beyond 1/2/3am that sort. grateful that once again i am able to serve, but this time kinda feeling a little bit worn out even before the whole thing begins. i guess there is a reason for 'one week' instead of 'three days' because tonight i can definitely feel the after effects of it finally. just pray that i'll have enough energy and all to last me thru these 5 days. i need the concentration and the sharpness. maybe because i attended rehearsals these two days, so the excitement kinda wore off. but i guess when the real thing starts there would be. and seriously, it is so amazing to see the kinda sacrifices people make for this AC. all the different departments, ministries etc. there isnt one who didnt put in any hard work for this AC. i love backstage.

so hello to early calltimes, late nights home again. plus all the cabs. and waking-up-at-5ams.

it is gonna be good cos lots of people worked so so hard for this.
it is gonna be good cos well, its AC!

need lots of grace!

okay only left 3.5h left to sleep!

it was a really surreal experience on thurs. realised everything had to happen 'in spite of'. no matter how scared/anxious i am, things still have to go on.

probably it is very hard for anyone to understand, but i have had lots of mixed feelings these couple of days. 'what ifs' and fears, mixed with lots of other stuff. got me quite messed up that i needed to distract myself today, by.. guess what? painting my nails and doing random stuff like making a tissue flower.

feeling of aloneness is pretty evident esp today. so i kinda slept it all away. helps when the painkillers do have drowsiness effects. scared for the week to come, if you were to ask me. but.. hope for the better yeah?

only good thing about being 'sick' is that somehow, you have the rights to demand anything. today i just randomly smsed my mum to tell her that i'm craving for spaghetti and asked if shes cooking tonight. she replied, 'be home at 6'. and voila! came home with all the sauces and she whipped up such a big bowl of spaghetti with all my fave mushrooms and egg and tomatoes. it was yummy. felt x1000 better instantly.



gonna try to take a bath now. wish me luck.

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perfect for weather like this. raining, me snugly in bed. BUT not sleeping. i am doing my report and explains why i'm awake at this ungodly hour. havent been up this late since 10238432 years ago.

i wanted to post these pics for the longest of time that i dont even remember where did i find all these pictures.

listened to her new song, listening to her old songs. there is just this deep admiration for her. i relate to her so much. if i can choose who i want to be, i would probably choose to be her. (not that it makes any sense, but you get me.) she just... inspires me..


and maybe thats the beauty of chinese. the use of words, the impression it leaves behind. the impact the words can make. the irony that i'm saying and blogging all these in english.

and.. there is just something about her voice.. how it pierces through to your innermost and resonates. and there is something so tender about a girl, singing and playing a guitar, just doing what she loves. and she is always so humble and shy!

all these aside, she does have the perfectest hair.

i just adore and love her so much.




PS. i think i am a blessed girl. i have so many people to look up to in some many areas and on so many levels. :)

i wanted to blog abt this a few days ago but didnt have the time. but after today, i felt even more about this.


even as we go through life, discovering new things, new places, new grounds. we do discover lots of traits and things about ourselves too. and even as we take the time to discover ourselves, i always thought that it takes a lifetime to find out about yourself. i guess cos things are always changing, thus we do change too. and different circumstances, you'll find different sides of yourself coming out.

if you realise, all of us have got so many sides in each of us, the 101 different tingtings living in one tingting. some really amazing, some really cool, some really funny, some just crappy, some trashy, some just plain unbelievable in the bad way. and all these different sides live in the same body and same person.

and, it takes us to accept and love ourselves in every single 'tingting' and side. people grow in love and acceptance, not condemnation. i believe the same applies to ourselves too. it is easy to love ourselves when we are just really good and amazing, but do you still love yourself when you are down and out and the terrible side shows?

i feel that sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves. our imperfections, our weaknesses. we refuse to accept ourselves in that way, cos we dont want to be that way. and maybe, it will in turn lead to self-condemnation, self-blame, self-inflicted pain.

sometimes, the most amazing thing to do is to give it space. give yourself space. to be who you are. even the most imperfect side of yourself. just let it be. acknowledge that you do have such a side in you, knowing is already the first step. then give it space, to grow. even as you learn to let go, to not be so harsh on yourself, you will start to realise those imperfections do have a chance to go away.

who says you cant be imperfect? who says you must always lie and be another you, when you are actually like that?

just be yourself, discover the 101 different sides in you. when you find an imperfect one, dont panic, dont be too harsh, dont be too quick to blame yourself and judge. just let that side of you be.




space. breathing space.
and patience and understanding will flow.

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i think these are soo pretty i melted when i saw them quite some time ago. i'd really say yes. something unique other than diamonds. loveee.

i seriously dont normally do this. in fact, never done before. but this year, i really really strongly feel that people should spend their money wiser if they are going to spend at all, so i just randomly thought of this guide to help you along.

this is if, you wanna buy something la (which you are strongly encouraged to). i not so bhb one. i just trying to make the job easier for anyone who is interested in buying. if not interested its seriously fine with me one, just that working adults like wong cek ark is the exception.

just wanna say i feel super disconnected with the world or something now. havent blogged for a few days, havent read my emails properly, havent read ALOT of blogs, havent caught up with all the stuff going on. plus i havent watch my shows!

okay soon soon. i'll have the time soon.


ok now for bed! way past bedtime!