hello.

It's one of those nights that I feel deeply. 

I think God doesn't remove certain pains in our lives for a reason, He leaves it there, and we need to go through every single bit of pain it brings. 

Unbearable, but He made sure it makes us stronger. 

Unthinkable, but He made sure it brings us up another level.

Sometimes, there are just some roads you need to walk alone. These long, winding roads. Not on pavements but sometimes it seems that it's deep in the forest with no sure way out. It gets pretty lonely and pretty scary... when you look around in the dark and you don't see anything or anyone. And it may seem pretty unfair. It may seem that God has forgotten you. It may seem that you are on the losing end. 

I do wonder. Why does God deem some experiences necessary for our growth and for our good? Must we really learn life's lessons in such a way? When we are going through a hard time, doesn't it pain God more than the need for us to experience it? 

Time and time again, this is a raw nerve that is sensitive for anyone to touch. And somehow I think that God made me in such a way. That it will always stay as a raw nerve as long as I live. Because this is the only part of me that feels in this way. 

I'm naive... I still do believe that God restores in His timing. In ways we do not imagine.