hello.

you know how good quality conversations can leave you feeling after? and i guess thats why after hearing today's cg sermon i couldnt agree more. and i love sharing, i love listening to other people, in an open and honest conversation. no matter how short or long, and it is really a two-way thing. i dont like it when i'm the only person contributing and the other is not opening up.

i also really cannot cannot stand superficiality. and i dont like it when people use others to get what they need, what they want, to satisfy their own needs. i dont like it when people use relationships as a mean or tool because of self-centeredness, or making use of the other person to achieve a certain result. and caryn, this is the reason why i'm still thinking. relationships should be edifying, should challenge us to be better.






and shoutout to ERIKA! i'm so so so so excited for you!!! when you told me just now my insides literally 'exploded' lor. hahahaha. im so so so so happy for you babe!!! definitely a huge step forward. :) cant wait for monday! will keep you in prayers. :)

I'M GOING TO GET BAPTISED TMR! :)

TODAY LA ACTUALLY. 280209. LOL.

SO EXCITING!

i was telling caryn (and girl, i cant have a proper msn convo with you till you switch to mac please.) how obsessive i am with chen qi zhen's new album. i keep playing them non-stop! and its kinda scary. but i really really love her new album so so much. every song is like a 诗 itself and its so so stunning and mind-blowing. you'll wonder what kinda things this girl actually has in her mind. and she is really just doing everyday stuff like any of us, but yet, she is able to derive such passionate and deep meaning to all that shes doing.

she is like someone without elaborate and nice clothes and packaging. but just very her in the simplest. and her works are getting better and better by the year. and she is just so so amazing man. and how she writes her lyrics.. how everything just come together.. and after listening you'll realise the angle shes coming at.. and just get blown away. it is just like goosebumps after goosebumps. seriously.


is it just me? haha. no la i'm sure surina agrees with me. lol.

her concert! april 4th! but the mayday one burnt a huge hole alr. :(
i would loveeeeee to go man.





relationships & communication.
you sure taught me in a big way today.
how the truest and sincerest communication can really just bring out the best.
sounds like what 杨君伟 will teach huh. lol.



sister will be flying off to bali tmr. actually in an hour's time.
going to miss those silly laughters and jokes at night so much. :(
you know, looking back at how my sister and i bonded so well over these past few months, touched me in a big way as well.
its like as if there isnt a 6year difference between us at all.
and i'm really glad.

shes someone who'll come at me strictly if she sees anything wrong in my life and i appreciate that kinda frankness. always always the more sensible one. :)

you know watching the match now brings back lots of memories.

a few more months and it'll officially be 7 years of watching soccer and supporting liverpool. and yeah, there were so many ups and downs in those 7 years that i wouldnt give up for anything. lol.

back then it was michael owen who attracted me to liverpool. and i've been faithfully supporting them ever since.

in 2005, we got into the finals for champs league. and it was may 2005. i wasnt saved then. but i remember in that match we were 3-0 down and i was feeling so so desperate and lost that i was praying non-stop for the whole match up till penalty shootout. haha. can you imagine?! i wasnt even saved! but then i told God that if He is real, He will listen and answer my prayers. and yes! we won!


and the following year in 2006, guess what? i went to london/liverpool itself! thinking back, that really has got to be one important highlight in my life. it was my first time to Europe and the whole trip was just beyond amazing. and God was so so real! the above pic is taken after the match Charlton vs Liverpool. and i remember crying so many times while i was there. haha. long story. but yes! it was then that i really believed that liverpool is like, a part of my life alr. and how i miss dear london! i loved everything about that city! from that faulty lights in the trains to Harrods to h&m to Topshop! man, i'll definitely be going back!

and right at the beginning, i used to say a short prayer before every match. haha. i would pray that we would win and gain points and all. and i was super faithful then. haha. so amusing right.

oh and in 2007, we went to champs league final again! but this time we lost. and it was like the first time i ever cried. i was feeling so sad! seeing gerrard and co so so dejected and disappointed. and the immense emotion that i cant do anything about it. i was super sad!

you know since i dont know when, i used to buy newpaper faithfully everyday just for the soccer news. and then whenever there is liverpool's article, i'll cut it out! haha. i think i have 2 files for them now. i've stopped alr la. but its super memorable thinking back. i used to cut out every picture and article lei. those that didnt make it to the file, i would paste it on the inside of my cupboard, so that it was filled with pretty liverpool cutouts. and i would spend hours and hours arranging and prettifying it.

and yeah, i still have the whole article, about a few pages long, of that fateful night in 2005 when we won champs league from newpaper. haha. thats like 4 years alr man. its like in boxes now, so i hope nothing happens to it la hor. haha.

i'll always without fail have the stamina to watch 3.45/2.45 matches. haha. even though i may have classes the next morning. hahaha.


and and! i have every jersey of theirs for a few years straight! both home and away! but i stopped collecting since last season i think. so sad right. no money alr. hahaha.

liverpool has got to be one of the reasons why me and my sister bonded so well. haha.


ahhhh. i love liverpool man. :)

i hope that even as i celebrate my 19th birthday this year, it wont be the 19th year without title again. it is time!!

and now i'm so proud to say that we won real madrid 1-0!! yayyyy!

time to sleep now!

you know how awesome 陈绮贞's new album is?! the lyrics is like stunning and out of the world. and it is just so awesome so so good. one of the most stunning albums i've heard so far. and shes catching up with mayday in my heart. maybe even on par alr. which i cant decide if its a good thing or not. 太阳's album is so great that i dont know if 后青春的诗 is better or not. hahaha. her songs are highly nice and inspiring. one of it has gotten 114 plays in my itunes alr. lolll.

my exams finally over. even though one paper only. haha. but thennn.. ahhh.. lets not go into it. haha.



didnt blog ytd,
but to my musically inclined, organised, and super humorous friend, jonathan lau yi xiang, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!


hahahahaha. you've got a really cool friend in marwin. lol.

18th year will be greater!! :)

zuo™ [ you reminded me]:
i thought i always looked like beethoven

LOLLLLL!!

and i dont have a picture with you lei! how can?? next time take okay. hahaha.

i'm so so amazed by my pastor and i seriously think he is like the coolest pastor ever..!









and. i think the process of studying and preparing for exams is pretty enjoyable actually. haha. maybe cos i'm doing something that i'm interested in. :) being a student is way cool.

chinese literatureeee! go go!

well i have to say, your words really do sting me real bad. it breaks my heart and it hurts me alot. i should have braced myself before asking. so i guess i was hit real hard with the sudden attack. i thought it'll be easy and smooth sailing. but i guess i was very very wrong.


you may not even know the extent of the kinda hurt you've caused. to you, its probably some words coming out of your mouth. but it means a lot to me and its really important to me. and that coming from someone so close to me as you are.


it hurts to know that after all these years, the amount of effort and energy and love i've poured out all went to waste with that very words you said. all the hope, joy, everything.. and the love deep in my heart.. just seems so small and so insignificant. you dont see it.



and when i sat there brawling my eyes out, you kept silent.



and was just reminded of exact incidents before with other people.



but one thing's for sure. i've given You my whole heart and my entire life. and thats the only thing that i want to hang on to.
and i really do still believe in what You've said.. one day it'll all come to pass.

the prettiest 19 year old's birthday: wong yingying. 黄盈盈。




eh you know i actually did a collage of the whole process. but i decided to be nice hahahaha. for those who dont know, yulan did a stunt and crawled under the table to get to the other side. hahahahaha!






all the pictures were sooooo blur!


with her presentssss. lol. "dont know what my friend gave me". hahaha.


and the ultimate!!


ohman this is seriously such an unglam pic of him. haha. but i dont really care. hahaha.




we seriously all look like we are doing pushups. haha.


we all wore short skirts! haha. mine a bit overly suntanned. hahaha.


金花s for you. :)


hahaha. the whole night was super lol la. the dinner was soooo good! it has been like long since i really laughed and enjoyed myself so much..! the yulan-crawling-underneath-table is so classic. and the ying-squeezing-through-us is so classic as well. nice food with super pretty company, what else can you ask for man?! hahaha.


and then it was to clarke quay. we were a bit ... hmmm la. haha. but anyhow, weijian mx yulan's thing really cracked us all up. soooooo funny! i was laughing away when i uploaded those pictures lor. for those of you who dont know, weijian and mx actually made their hair super wet, having the impression that they swam across the river to deliver the cake to ying. haha. and yulan's super scary zhen zi. haha.


wong yingying, you are 19!! haha. stepping into young adult. and i've known you for SIX YEARS! hahaha. all the way from the salivating clarinet mouthpiece incident to now. haha. you seriously rock man. i'm so so blessed to have you as my friend.

you've seen me through so many of my ups and downs, and always tried to be there even though most of the time you dont know how to react and comfort me. thanks alot. you made a HUGE difference in my life. bringing me to church and all. without you, there wouldnt be today's yulan tingting angelina cally. speaks alot huh? :)

so well, happy birthday once again. and like what i've written in the card, i'm sure 2009 will be such a great great year for you. :)

I LOVE YOU WYY!


*grab the rest on facebook.
-------------------------
something super funny:

tingting: eh you like to ask alot of questions hor.
mx: why cannot? i'm a questionnaire.


HAHAHAHA. LOLLLLL.

i think this has got to be a record or something. i havent blogged in almost a week. hahahaha.

and how i wish there is a consistent supply of cheesecakes in my refrigerator. hahaha.


went for Live and Loaded:






ah see no monkey pictures but bad hair!






monkey faces. haha.


with issacc and yingyingg and met like tons of other people. it was super funny and fun la. with people like I and Y around. hahahahaha. who forgot the tickets huh?!?

check out their performanceeee..!



can totally see torrance's hands and macson's expensive edhardy cap. hahaha.


babe! you were so cool and good la! so proud of you. :) its like so totally your thing. haha. it was super exciting to see you up on stage! haha. so so so coool! :)


it was like a total bad hair day which totally ruined taking-pictures mood. haha. i will upload those pics to facebook once i feel less lazy tmr. and together with ying's bday pictures. there are sooo many!


my sis is doing APA now. i am so going to laugh at her. i finished all those horror last week! :D

received his email reply ytd. and it touched me so deeply that i was really tearing. not being emotional, but it is just so powerful. seeing how people believe in you, even when you havent achieved anything much in life. but they saw the potential, and gave a helping hand, to encourage and to enable. it is so so touching.


ytd i was just thinking. those people who helped me along the way. who enabled my dreams. my mum, my sister, my leaders, my friends, my teachers. they may not like, make my dream, but one word, a conversation from them encouraged me, and thats how i got to where i am today. those helping hands, those words, those moments that impacted me. of course there were those who helped me hugely also.

those people who allowed me to be me, who gave me space to grow, who believed and gave me support, without any questions asked, gave me permission to follow my heart. and i'm so grateful and so touched ytd as i thought back. esp my mum. who asked me to be happy in whatever i do, and she'll support me no matter what. and she asked me not to worry about finances, but just go and do what my heart wants. it was such a daring and risky thing to say you know. but she allowed me to and gave me space to. and it changed my life.







anyhow, i am really very depressed. because now, i'm more confident in my english than my chinese. which is bad. because afterall, i'm doing chinese studies, not english studies. :(

ytd was doing my essay. and i'm just beyond horrified at the standard i'm coming out with. what happened man. i need to soak in chinese books now.

after my round of english books, i'm going to start on my improve-chinese-till-very-chim campaign. hahahaha.

but then again, once i'm better in chinese, my grammar and all will start going haywire. so it is like a challenge for me to find that bilingual balance in me. haha. so exciting.

one day, i'm going to be super good at both languages. :)

i am so dead. i have two essays to do, 6000 words. and i've only written 6 words. that is 1/1000. 0.001%.




monday was junwei's last lesson. and the things that he said at the end, really wowed and impacted me alot. haha. and there goes my every monday shoes-looking exercise. haha. his lesson is something i really enjoyed though. throughout the 18 weeks, i've grown and changed for the better and i'm amazed. and really, what i brought back from the lesson is more than what we learn in textbooks and all.

i think one thing that really touched me was that we were going into the lift and zhang yun said, she thinks i really changed alot for the better, and i've become a lot more confident and that i did well. i was so happy because speaking has always been like, a barrier and a wall for me. its like, something i just cant be natural at. and what yun jie said encouraged me alot. :)

and i still think his attitude and his ask-for-perfect trait is very commendable okay. not many people have that mindset, and that is what set people apart. for great things or even greater things..




shall go back to my essay! :)

---------------------------------
hellooooooo~~~~ wayne is here!!!!!!! hahHahahHa.. happen to bump into her here at NLB.. lol!

support my blog! www.chongtak.blogspot.com

yingying, i know you are reading this..! lol! stop smilin to yourself! haHahhaHa..

"你的两个女儿都很美"

hahahahahaha. as quoted from one of my ou xiang. someone who constantly amaze and inspire me. :)

shuang-ness!



but it is his lesson that really gets me. always a struggle. i'm so not a natural at this.


yeah i know, it'll only make me better..! jiayou tingtingggggggg! tmr last one!



sat went for:




i really really love him alottttt. he is so cute. too cute to put into words seriously. haha.

and i love attending these kinda thing. it reminds me of how far talents can get you. and how passion can get you even further. it is always always so encouraging, to see singers like him, carrying guitar like it is his only precious thing in the world, and embracing the stage and doing what they are best at. and the joy that overflows, the excitement that inspires. it is influential.

i have another one in august! i cant wait! thats why i dont really mind spending so much, because i know the things that i carry back with me in my heart are priceless and definitely worth the ticket price. haha.






reading "The Last Lecture" and the stuff that impact me.. really good. other than the brick walls part, theres also this part in which he talked about enabling the dreams of others, believing in people and being encouraging and standing up for them. it impacts..




:)




-------------
AND CAN I ADD! I'M SERIOUSLY IRRITATED BY MAN U'S 1-0s!!! THEY ARE GETTING IRRITATING! ARGH! I WANT OUR NUMBER 1 PLACE BACK!

had a talk with my sister. its kinda of the first. and i realised a lot of things which i didnt before. she told me stuff that i didnt know before too. she talked in her viewpoint and angle, and it is interesting to hear it coming from her. also saw beyond the words and conversation - the feelings and anger hidden for years. empty promises and the disappointments.



and i wonder.. i really wonder..

------------------------------------




i'm going for his mini concert tmr night. and i'm seriously excited for it. he is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and it brings me so much joy listening and watching him. he is that kinda person that makes you smile for no apparent reason. :)


note to caryn: i'll make sure i sing '对啊'
the loudest tmr. lol.


------------------------------------

marveling at how well and detailed you are when you plan and make things happen. today's incident reminded me again. and i really am amazed and in awe. everything is just so perfect. step by step, little by little, you showed me time and again. and i know.. i'm so blessed.. :)


------------------------------------

little lesson learnt today: pride and ego get you no where. it takes character to step down, and listen to what people say. it'll just get you in cycles and circles. dont blame it on others, look and examine yourself first.

3rd day straight in NLB. honestly, i kinda really like it here. though its really quiet (level 9's people much more tolerable to noise than level 7's), but it offers some nice singapore view. haha.


i finished my essay today. and i feel on top of the world seriously. haha. need to add in just a few more stuff. then i'm doneee. and i really really put in a lot of effort and energy this time round and i think i did a good job. so yayy!!


will be back to finish up the other two giants. 6000 words.



:) accomplished. though i wasteed hours slacking. hahahaha.

random night-out

serious obsession with wj's iphone games:






hahaha. so funny. and shoutout to yulan, i got all-time high score for bubble wrap! haha.



soooo eerie looking. loll.











hahahaha. the reso so not good la. buttt it was super funny still. hahahaha.
and i think my metallic legs are super cooooolll. :)



btw, today has got to be the most productive day in my life ever. haha.


im happyyyyyyyyyyyy. can you feel my joyyyyyyyy.

at NLB since about 1.40.

seriously, apa is just about the most irritating thing on the earth ever. i've been citing and referencing for like the past dont know how long. and its getting on my nerves. all the details and different format.

i think any moment now.. i will.. do something.

haha.


i will be productive today!!

save save save!


this reminds me of a photo in spot the diff. haha.



ever since i was really young, my mum made both my sister and i save in our piggy banks. everyday, i will empty my coins into it, and my mum sometimes will give me loose change to put it in too. and every end-year is my fave time of the year. because my piggy bank will be full and i will sit down together with my mum to separate and count all the coins.

and its seriously so exciting! i love to count and count and put all the money into plastic bags to exchange into notes!

so last year, i decided to start saving in piggy bank again. and my mum is so sweet, shes even more faithful than i am. everyday putting 50cent coins in without fail, and $1 coins to my sister's.

so a few days ago, i counted it together with my mum cos it was tooooo full alr. and i was quite surprised by the amount. haha. the 50cent made up $100 alr.

and everytime i count, it just reminds me how cool it is. that every little coin seems so insignificant. and the process of tirelessly putting in coins seems insignificant too. but when put together, it can be such a mighty sum. speaks alot huh.

now after emptying it, i am starting a whole new adventure again! hahaha. so excitinggg. (but my mum was telling me to get a bigger one so i'll have more money like my sister's. haha. and my sister's strategy is quite cool. she only saves $1 coin. so at the end, she'll have ALOT of money!)




and the entertainment of the night:


xiao ying, xiao lan and two deceased.
so they are made into fish organ soup.
which previously should be named xiao ting and xiao jian. to make it complete.


hahahahaha. sooooooooo funny!!

2-0.

fernando torres liverpool's number 9!

13th sept:
liverpool 2-1 man u

26th oct:
liverpool 1-0 chelsea

1st feb:
liverpool 2-0 chelsea


i'm so proudddd!!


been missing lots of action lately, and the match just now has got to be the first i watched since dont know when. and how exciting! last few minutes!!


so now we are officially 3 points clear of disgusting chelsea!!! hahaha.

we shall see who win the title in may. :)