hello.

and i miss gerrard and co. so badly. :(

my grandpa's in hospital.in quite serious condition apparently.his liver hardened up so alot stuff cant work too.

its actually a very scary trip cos he cant really recognise me and his hands were all tied up cos he'll struggle and he'll bleed.and he tried very hard to stand up to free the cloth pulling him so theres alot of scratches and bruises around his elbow that hes even bleeding so alot of bloodstains on the bedsheet too.

he refused to listen to the doctors and nurses cos he insists hes okay dont need medications anymore so he'll actually hit the nurses trying to help him.so it looks pretty bad.my mum and uncle keep saying i should go and see him more cos we really dont know how long more.

then on the way home in the car,heard that the pang an bang got heart attack or something so hes in hospital now in singapore and the wife was describing the condition.

everytime after a visit to a hospital,it'll hit me hard that life is really so fragile.

and we are made in the sense that every little detail is so important.like who knows if this protective layer over your whatever important vein which can not be visible to the human eye is gone then suddenly you have a very serious condition where you can die.

like our body can have so many veins,blood vessels,our heart,liver,kidney,lungs etc.theres so many things in our body.and actually come to think of it,every little thing in our body is so delicate and fragile and susceptible to all kinds of attack.

i dont know if i made my point or you got my point but seriously,we are such complicated beings trying to simplify 'life'.

HELLO!

haaha.just want to comment that its really kinda scary to be so absorbed in doing something that when you suddenly look out the window,its like,night time and dark already.lol.

well for quite sometime now i've not been able to read stuff properly,like i'll take several minutes just to read one paragraph and absorb it.and i'll be very irritated so i give up reading after a while.then xiaoting told me cos i've not been using my mind should start doing some meaningful stuff instead of watching tv.hahaha.

shes so right man.haha.like today i tried reading a book and wow.i can read faster now!haha!so i'm really happy today cos its like,getting back my sense of reading.HAHA.

so i'm now even more motivated to finish reading all the books i was supposed to finish long time ago and all those outdated time magazines! :)

yay!

and i'll start to find a job real soon.like real soon.

AND.i think its time that i be a good daughter and help out in household chores.hee.i shall sweep the floor now! (actually its not sweep la,its the magic clean thing,but how to describe the action?haha.)

HAHAHA.as i was typing 'household chores' just now i felt totally weird cos i've not been seeing this phrase for a long long long time.so i thought i used the wrong phrase or something and i called cally up and we were laughing about it.lol.cos its really true that all of us never do household chores!hahaha.

well..i bought mayday's latest cd.its actually the tour's live dvd and such.its like i just suddenly realised as i flip through the lyrics book that they are growing to be broader.in the sense when you listen to their old songs,its about love between people,dreams,life in general.now its like a bigger picture like watching this earth from a spaceship and observing.its like..getting bigger and bigger.

and they always never fail to amaze me..haaha.

i always love reading all the little writings in between songs and before the lyrics..and man,suddenly remembered what pastor preached, what do you do more than others?

and everytime i read what ah xin said and wrote.be it his blog or the songs..i'll be so inspired.to read up about everything on this earth,to read all the forgotten time magazines at home,and all the books in the library.

i think knowledge is a very powerful thing.its not just a fact to me now its like a revelation.
these people,they read,they experienced,they thought through.
and see how are they impacting asia now.

what do you do more than others?

人生演化成万把个被地心引力牢牢锁住的日子。
只记得，在梦中，我狠狠地否定了地心引力。

its written in the album.i think ah xin wrote it.

OH,digressing!i'm very very very sure track number 16 is from singapore's concert!

well,a quiet and moody-looking sunday evening.whats there to do but play some mayday song and get in touch with your soul?hee.i love moments like this.

omg..haha.the last track.is techno.some dj remixed it.sorry,but i still cant accept techno.haaha.

and ya,i have a weird habit.haha.like whenever i import songs into my itunes and see my mayday songs' genre is 'world' or 'pop',i'll be very angry and change it to 'rock'.hahaha!

peace,hope,love,joy,freedom,liberty

in the midst of chaos and unrest,i always find Daddy overwhelming me with all those. :)

OMG JUST TO SHARE THE EXCITEMENT HARRY POTTER WILL BE OUT

TOMORROW!!!



OKAY,LIKE WHO DONT KNOW.HAHA.BUT I'M REALLY SOOOO EXCITED!!I'M GONNA BRING IT EVERYWHERE I GO SO I'LL FINISH IT!!YES,THE TOILET TOO!!HAHA!!



eh,but means hor,i'll finish the harry potter series already.BUT STILL!WHOS GONNA DIE MAN??HAHAHA.IM SO EXCITED.



MY SIS JUST SMSED ME SAY TOMORROW 7AM CAN COLLECT ALREADY.



FOR THE SAKE OF HARRY POTTER,I'LL ARISE AND SHINE EARLY TOMORROW! :)



okay going to eat my mac now.broke my promise to myself actually.cos i promised myself one fast food per week but now its two already.its okay,theres progress.haha.



YAY.

awwww wongyulan i'm so addicted to your leehom now.hahaha.actually only one song la.the gai bian zi ji.ITS SO NICE OMG.hahaha!go youtube it or something.heee.

i love the rock one!the electric guitar!but i think yulan will like the suspenders and bass one.hahahaha.

wahseh that song is so addictive!

i like the whole idea of the song!cos before the song he wrote stuff in the album.he said that even though his strength and all may be small but he believes that it can change something.AIYA.translate to english so not nice!!hahaha!but its so inspiring in chinese!

thats what i love about chinese language.its so direct.short and sweet.and the rest is for you to imagine.but you'll get the message,strong and impacting.

hahaha.

hello

i lost my phone.
someone stole it.
at topshop.
opposite pull and bear.
where marcus lost his too.

hahaha.

okay i was so very angry and sad la.it was just like spilt second kinda thing.i was with mingxun and yulan.and after 10secs (around there i'm not exaggerating) after i replied my mum,i looked for my phone and its gone already..

omg.i was so shocked can.its like..first time.and i was crying so loudly there.yulan said it was very shi tai but seriously i just lost my phone can!

its actually very weird to think that this person will be using what i used.like..you know?that kinda uneasy feeling?i so totally dont understand why people steal.i feel so sad for their parents..ohman.

and right,cally and huiying,actually i didnt inform like,everyone too.i just called my mum and sis and a couple of other people.i called marcus.haha.cos i know he'll make me feel better.cos he knows everything and he somehow,sincerely feels sorry for you.as in,you can feel it one la.haha.so i felt so much better after calling him cos he started going on about what i should do and what not to do and blahblah.hahaha.hes always so good with phones and such.haha

so now its tues and mym mum actually promised me to go singtel with me to get the sim card but she called and said shes tired then wait till saturday..

so i was kinda..angry.but i shouldnt.so i shall control.hahahaha.life is still beautiful.

its really weird to live life without a phone.haha.like if you are going to meet people you got to arrange everything before you leave the house and you cant be late.

and its a pretty paranoid experience waiting for people without a phone.

and i feel so cut off from the world now!seriously!like when i used to see something funny i'll always take out my phone and sms yulan or someone but now its like..my best friend missing. :(

oh yulan,i wanted to sms you ytd that leehom's new album is pretty cool.my sis's bf bought it so i have it now.haha.and the 4 characters mv i told you about IS SO COOL MAN.haha.seriously!go and youtube it!haha.

ahhhhhh.i'm having cramps and stomachache together now!ohman...

anyway,i prayed that the person who stole my phone can repent from it.and if he really repented,and start to use more money to help save the world or little kids from africa,i really dont mind losing my phone man.

hahaha.and it really tests the 'love your enemy' part.hahaha.

okay,i will try to stay home more so you guys can like contact me if you want to.or you can email me.hahaha.

OH.losing the phone=no alarm clock and no morning calls too!so its back to the classic alarm clock!its pretty funny!haha!to wake up to the TITITITITITITI sound!hahaha!

but no,losing your phone is still not a good feeling.haaaa.

HELLO.haha.nowadays very inspired to blog.heee.

i'm listening to michelle branch now!haaa.hers is still one of the most listenable albums ard.AND,she writes her own songs!haha.plus theres this attitude of hers that is so..her.haha.i think its really attractive.

well,just had dinner with my mum.i'm so so glad that i made this decision to meet her in the end.it was pretty amazing because i actually did chat with her.i know its like the norm for you guys but i really seldom speak to my family members so its really very amazing for me to even talk to them for more than 5mins.

and to think that 2 days back,late at 3plus am,i wasnt sleeping yet so my dad actually came out and lectured me.but after scolding and all,he actually talked to me about this family,his views on my mum and everything.for half an hour he just kept talking,about his business and how he was misunderstood sometimes.and he actually said something (its actually quite touching i admit) that i'm his daughter after all,so of course he'll care for me.

i was practically shocked can.in all my years living on this earth,hes like super conservative and all dont believe in 'caring' for others,in a way.

so back to my mum,she too,was telling me her part of story and why she wanted to move and all.and she was asking me how i feel about the whole thing and whos the wrong one.so i said actually when things end up like that,its not the time to point fingers cos in the end its both sides' fault.and i think my mum was pretty surprised i actually said something sensible.hahaha.

actually however hard i'm trying not to admit,both my parents actually love me alot.and what this family lacks is communication.

my mum said we'll probably only be able to move next year due to the procedures and my dad's refusal to sign and all.

so that means that i actually have around 5 months left. (:

it used to be so hard to believe.
now,everything changed.

AND JUST TO INFORM YOU GUYS.

im meeting cally to go and cut hair this sat!yay!im so looking forward to it cos i havent seen jonathan in TWO MONTHS.haha.

eh i seriously think thats a record can.to think i used to drop by every other week.haha.

YAY!

hahaha i know the HAHAHA post is irritating so i shall update.hee.

well actually i was looking at my past sticker albums (hahaha!i bet you do keep sticker albums too right!) and i was so amazed can.haha.i was smiling at myself and thinking how did i spend my childhood days.so cute lor.

i was so happy when my mum bought hello kitty stickers for me from the pasar malam.as if life is about collecting the most stickers and having the most sticker albums.

and my sis occasionally gives me stickers when shes in a good mood.i'll treasure it so much that i'll spend up to hours thinking of how to arrange the stickers so that it'll be pretty and nice and all and in my favouritest album.

and i love to flip through the albums and remembering when and how i got each of the stickers..and sometimes rearranging the positions so it'll be pretty.haaa.

sometimes your past can really make you wonder and think and even learn from it.the satisfaction and contentment when i receive a sticker a day.and the time i'm willing to spend to make it so attractive.and sometimes even bringing it to school and show off to my friends.

well and about my family stuff.i really really wanna thank God for the courage that He gave me.its not easy..but yet.not impossible.i remember that night when God really spoke to me i was crying like a little baby so touched and all.cos God told me that whatever i'll face from that point onwards,He'll be there always.

and He told me,together hand in hand,He and me,we'll make a difference.but i'll have to hold on to His hand tight.and He'll hold me up if i ever fall..and that alone is enough for me to keep going on. (:

of course.
how i wish i am not going through this now.
how i wish my family is just like any other,laughing and understanding and loving.
how i wish that someday,divorce will not be mentioned.

but still,its times like this that i feel even closer to God and i wont give this up for anything else.

(: life is even more wonderful with all the downs.so we can truly appreciate the ups.

jiaxin,like what you've said.haha.