you know you havent been blogging much, when you type 'b' into your address bar and there isnt any 'blogger.com' in your list. and when you type 'd' and your own blog 'dingting8.blogspot.com' doesnt appear in the list anymore too.

i havent been really in touch with my inner thoughts and self recently, thus the lack of posts and all. i felt that i've been losing myself, not myself recently. all the work is sucking me up. i have always been someone who does what i want, do what i feel like. if i dont feel the purpose and the reason why, i get really burnt out easily and i will become so tired. just like ADM when i first started, and all the different jobs i've had. this is no exception. the production line needs alot of passion to keep staying on. i'm not one who can just repeatedly do what i'm supposed to do.. for the sake of money, for the sake of anything. if my inner self is not happy in what i'm doing, i easily get so frustrated and i go into a 'recline' kinda mood. and i guess, the answer is pretty obvious. i wont be doing the production line in the future. but i guess, its good for learning and experience. not many people get to witness and observe the back scenes in this industry so i'm thankful i'm able to. but i also cant wait for it to end.

i miss those lazy days.. waking up without any plans for the day, and just go along with the day. doing what i like, and enjoying every me moment. i seldom got time for me moments nowadays. and its getting on me. when i dont spend enough time with myself, i easily feel unrested and i feel like i'm a mess. when i feel that my personal space is invaded by work, stress etc.

and i noticed another thing. i became much much more short-tempered after all these. i flare up so easily nowadays. maybe i dont display it, but i sure am burning inside of me. and just the littlest of thing gets to me and i'll feel super irritated by them. but then again, after a while, i find myself silly and try to reason out myself.

during my one month break before flying off, i'll make sure i make full use of it.

btw, i'm flying off 3rd sept, coming back 7th january. ahhhhhhh.