hello.

I've never thought I would feel this way, probably because I've always been the one 'in front'. Recently I've been thinking, what a scary thing it is, to feel that everyone has moved on, except you. 

I don't exactly mean it in a bad way, like I refuse to let go of something etc, nothing of that sort. But in a sense that everyone is progressing on, going to the next phase of life. And yet somehow... I feel like I'm still at the same place. 

I'm not talking about in terms of growth etc, I'm talking more about life stages? I've learnt that patience is indeed a virtue. It takes a lot to wait. It tests everything about you. And it's just a scary feeling that while you are 'waiting', others are already moving forward without you, when they were supposed to be on the same page as you.

It's just a scary thought and feeling I've been thinking lately... 

PS. it is actually quite a touching thing to know that people are still reading this space. other than a few really 'loyal readers' that I have, I have like random people who come up to me and say that they are still reading this blog. I think it's quite amazing cos I haven't been writing a lot...

that aside, I really love words. I love how it expresses, I love how it plays around.. I just simply love words.. more than speaking them. English/Chinese, they are really such incredible languages... :) 

First of all, I would like to say that I'm not a very 'dreamy' person. Not saying that I don't have dreams and desire, just that I'm not those who will say, "My dream is to ....". I'm not... 

Thus recently, I've been thinking, sometimes life really isn't about this great one dream that we all want to achieve. You know how growing up, we've heard people saying go for our dreams, and stop at nothing till we achieve our dreams. We've seen people wanting to be singers, trying all means and ways to get there etc. 

But what if some of us, we don't have such a big one dream? Sometimes... I think that life is really about small dreams along the way. One small dream leads to another and another, and so when we look back, we see a 'big' dream formed. I think this is very true for me. 

I always feel very awkward when people ask me things like, what's your greatest dream and desire? I don't really have one... Am I abnormal? I'm not exactly a "10-years from now I'm going to be this" kinda person. Is it wrong? Or is it just my nature? I'm much more comfortable knowing that I have smaller dreams, and they are just as important and great as the seemingly 'bigger' dreams. And I've come to realize that it's okay, as long as I know that God is guiding me. 

Maybe it's just me...