hello.

it was super captain steven gerrard's birthday yesterday! :) 30th May. haha.



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theres just some stuff..that are weighing so heavily on my heart.i just cant stop thinking abt them.

actually i'm so burdened..spiritually. i felt that i completely lost hold, and its not a nice feeling.


i believe in prayers.

hellooo all you people.

first of all, a big THANK YOU to everyone.seriously it was the most bizarre birthday i ever had. :)

i had such a blast man seriously.

3 rounds of celebrations! and 6 oreo cheesecakes of different brands! and 1000000 people involved. lol.

i had seafood with family and aunt uncle cuzzys and all! :) super nice! i had extra servings of everything! :) hahaha.

then sunday! it was cellgroup giving me a pretty laptop case! hahaha. then dinner! with weiru abby cally huiying ying! :)

it was hilarious. cos we were all interconnected in very funny ways.hahaha. and they surprised me with this oreo cake! and i finished like, 1/4 of the cake.hahaaa.


thennn today!

super touched by all my classmates! cos they planned together and then all bombed me on msn at 9.33 exactly, the time i was born.haha.my mac seriously lagged a little.hahaha. yes super touching! thanks alot man.


and thennn ying + cally's acting all the way. seriously i didnt really expect much. and you guys were obvious in a not obvious way.haha.so i was constantly thinking whether theres a surprise or not. but i stayed on the 'no surprise' side cos didnt want to expect much. haha.

BUT! omg i was sooooo touched and sooooo surprised and sooooo happy!!

so i was walking home, saw marcus and ying stickin this notice at my lift, but i didnt wear glasses so i didnt notice it was marcus until ying called his name, then they quickly ran upstairs.haha.

so i was instructed to go to the different levels to meet different ones and to answer all their questions! and each of them had like, different oreo cheesecakes from different places!


okay there were ying, cally, angel, elaine, qiqin, yujie, baoying, juanjie, marcus, zimu, guicheng.

soooo many people right! plus guicheng was so random that it was so random! hahaha.

i was soooo touched you know! when i saw yujie and elaine and qiqin i was like, crying already. cos i didnt expect them to actually come down to surprise me!


and ya.so the story goes on.

really thanks so much for everything. all the smses, msn, friendster, tags, phonecalls, everything.thanks alot. i practically sat there for 35 mins replying all the smses and msn!


thanks ying, you always make the extra effort to plan and all. thanks for making this the most amazing birthday ever. :) you never fail to amaze me each time man.

thanks cally. i know you have got presentations, tests and whatnots. seriously touched that you went all the way out just to find the perfect gift. really thanks alot! jiayou for your presentation + test tmr! :)

thanks yulan. i was seriously touched. like for the handmade stuff, i know it takes so much effort and time. thanks for the cookies and the present tmr. :) i'll keep you in prayers. you jiayou okay. it was great seeing you today seriously. :)

thanks LAM. you! haha. super touching man. the rose! thanks so much, really. you have been like this amazing friend. :) dont worry you'll get your reply soon! really. :) thanks alot girl. thanks for like, everything, really. :)

thanks for all the dinner treats from the different ones as well! you know who you are! :)

okay i'm super tired already..i seriously feel sooo blessed. all the different ones in my life.. you know all of the people, bring different joy into my life. like theres a different joy when i see each of you, like marcus, zimu, etc. seriously i felt like so blessed.

and i got like, two surprise smses! i was super surprised when i saw the first one. when i saw the second i was practically going !!!!! . i am so not going to delete it forever man. hahaha. what a privilege. :)




God, i feel so overwhelmed and blessed. thank you so much for bringing so many different ones into my life. this 18th year is for you. :)

before i forget this feeling..

i had an intruguing conversation with a fellow classmate. i felt that it was a very good talk. it made me realise how i am so blessed. right here right now, my life has got a purpose. you know, those questions? who do i live for, why am i here, where am i going. all these questions that haunt mankind to no end, i actually do have the answers. i have my purpose. and that in itself, is enough to make me so grateful. so very grateful of everything.

i've come to a place, where it is no longer a faith i follow blindly. it is NOT. it is not stoic. it is relational. it is experiential. it is moving. it has energy. in fact, i shouldnt even use 'it' to describe. i am living in such great intensity. such great destiny. such great purpose. its everything. and everything is real.




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just finished 2/3 of my assignment. i have to say, i really understand now, how your writing will have a soul if you were truly touched before.

i wrote about family and mayday. ( okay i know you'll think so typical of tingting. haha.)

and you know what? i teared while i wrote about mayday. i was recalling about the concert last year, why did i cry then, and i cried. lol. they live with such an intensity too.



i am just so grateful. so very grateful.

with self-less faith. pray and seek.

sometimes, just sometimes.

how i hope it is you who initiate talks or emails rather than me. alot of times i feel that i'm the only one trying to. or maybe sometimes i need people to talk to too. sometimes i just feel so alone, i need to share. and it seems that you are the only one who can understand. but it is also you who are always too busy.

and no, i'm not talking about you. so dont think too much. hahaha.

okay time is 12.37am.

i am officially starting all my work.

now.

and i have everything i need within reaching distance.

and am sitting very comfortably on the sofa.

lets see how much i accomplish in 2 hours' time.



YOU CAN DO IT!


xoxo,
T

(lol.)

i love pastor kong so much.

its like exploding joy hearing him preach. he constantly inspires and motivates me so much. esp during service ytd, while he was challenging us to be spiritual and prayerful, it moved me to tears.

and even as i hear stories from different ones about pastor kong, it never fails to send goosebumps all over my body. pastor kong always breaks that 'just enough' spirit within me. he always goes the extra mile, always do things so excellently that no one could have imagined. he has got this authority and brokenness balance within him.

he is just so inspiring. its not just about his words, but its about how he carries his lifestyle, how he really applies things into his life.

i am just so grateful to be part of everything. in this church, in a season such as this.

lets really start praying. :)

just now was watching the news. if you have cable, every channel is talking about the earthquake now.

seriously it was so saddening, hearing stories after stories, tragedies after tragedies. the worst thing is that so many kids were affected. every individual has got a sad story to tell. whats devastating is that, all these will definitely puncture the atmosphere there.. how can people now still have hope and joy and peace?

just now i saw how this little boy begged three hospitals to cure him and still keep his right hand for him because he wants to study and hold a pen still. but the doctor told him he cant keep his life without amputating his hands. so saw his expression, and his parents'.

and seriously it was just stories after stories that you cant help but winch in your seat and more than thanking God you are alive, it is more like..you'll feel, why like that?why such a big difference?



刚才有一句活：老天爷够狠，但川辣子强，会一直奋斗下去。

seriously its like so different. there its like hell, here we feel sad, but life still continues. isnt it ironic in itself? :(

the belinda show blessed me so much again.

i had tears in my eyes just watching the show. its amazing how simple the show is, but how the message is so strongly conveyed. i just can practically feel the love and passion right there in my living room.

today, belinda and this guy and a girl took great lengths to climb this mountain just to reach the girl's dad to pass him a pair of new crutches. the look and reaction of the girl's dad is just pure heart-piercing. you can just feel it one lor.

a pair of crutches. what does it actually mean to you? to me, its just another pair of crutches, quite common in singapore, nothing much to be amazed about. but if you saw the dad's reaction, you'll feel super guilty..

the look in his eyes, the pure happiness, how he really cherished the crutches, how he was just amazed at getting a new pair of crutches. it breaks your heart, seriously. instantly, my eyes filled with tears. its just that simple touch you know?

i liked what belinda said. she said that the guy and his wife, they fulfilled their dreams. but even more than that, in the years they were there, they learnt the importance and happiness of what money truly cant buy.

this is just living at its purest. i dont think anything can beat that simplicity, and that love.

and i truly believe, this little love, is just the answer to this broken down world we live in.

抓狂 :)

seee! we look like we have braces! hahaha.

prettyy weiru :) my goodie sheperd's pie, bubble tea friend. haha.

you know, contrary to what others may feel, i actually like doing projects and homework. alot. theres this unexplainable joy that fills me when i feel absorbed doing homework. and the immense satisfaction when i get something done. and the motivation when i see work piling up.

(okay, not really true for the last line.lol.)

just that i dont like it when i dont know where to start. and thats exactly how i'm feeling now.


最近在听［疯狂世界］。


“我好想好想飞
逃离这个疯狂世界
那么多苦 那么多累
那么多莫名的泪水”

其实越长大后，会领悟，越沉浸在这‘疯狂世界’里，才会有更多的感动。


i need inspiration!

hahahhahaha me and huiying spent much of our time playing ard with the photo booth.honestly it was funny like..a waffle?lol! and we went mad laughing at ourselves.here are some of them!




but of course, we are not so ugly one la.we are pretty babes you know!
see laa huiying soooo pretty! esp the third pic! :)


me and my cuzzy.haha.she insisted on taking pictures cos her hair was very straight ytd.haha.


andddd the birthday boy treated me to ice-cream that glows.lol.


i'm having four hours break now! lol. :)

i'm really so excited. to see what is in store. i know its gonna be huge. i have never felt so ready in my life. ever since last week's service, i felt such a breakthrough in the spirit. :)



long gone are the days of laziness. it feels good that i felt a change in me. like i no longer procrastinate as much as i do last time.



the 18th year of my life, i'm laying down everything for all of you.

虽这么忙，你们的疯狂、沸腾的热诚，还一直在推动着我。

去追梦。一定要最疯狂，一定要最辛苦。



付出、代价，必定。

只希望我每天都能往那方向走。

大家一起加油！



回头看，会发现青春过得很累，但有意义。

God has been soo good to me.

this week it was like really a whirlwind. and often i had to stay up to do stuff.. and i would be so tired i end up dozing off and waking up, and dozing off and waking up that kind.

and its really ridiculous kind.like i was talking to a friend and i fell asleep talking on the phone.hahaha.


BUT!

theres this like super amazing force at work la. i'll wake up feeling energetic everyday (i'm serious!no matter how sleepy i was the day before). and i was never late for school even though its super duper far. you know and you know that its God at work.

even though i do fall asleep in classes, but i still managed to jot down quite an impressive amount of notes. and i do understand the lessons.

and i was able to go around doing stuff till quite late kind..

and mind you, i always sleep at 2-3.30 am. and wake up at 6-7am.

haahahaha. God is just amazing la. :)


but i still got to spend a considerable amount of time putting concealer on my dark eye rings.lol.

it came as a realisation that its week 4. and week 6, theres like a dozen things to be handed up.

and progress = 0.

i'm gonna do well. i'm gonna score. i'm gonna work hard!

and nowadays..everyone in class is down with some illness.you'll hear people sniffing,coughing throughout the day. and i've been coughing for the whole day as well.


i need you more than ever before..i really cant do this on my own.

270th post! hahaha.

hello hello

wow i just realised the much anticipated 5day break (wed 11am off, thurs fri no sch, in the end got la.haha make up tutorial. sat+sun ) just passed me by, or gonna pass me by.

i thought i could get sleeeeep. but no. hahaha.

but i'm glad. i feel that my time is used productively. haha. which used to be rare.

seriously like what xiaoting said, those people really are such a joy in my life. i totally loveee spending time with them and just laughing at them. hahahahaha.

:)

just now was walking home..

was talking to him, and i told him how one thing happened one after another, rushing from one place to the other. these few days it was like, total rush. school, my spiritual life, friends, cg, everything.

then he suddenly reminded me of this vision that he showed me months ago. just suddenly. and i became to realise, i am in the whirlwind that i was longing to be in. i am in such a strategic position to start something.

and yes, i will do my best.

i'm not feeling tired. but very excited. :)

haha.

went to nuffnang,saw the 'keywords', and i was laughing away at how this person used google to find my blog.lol.

this person searched for 'mayday ashin's girlfriend' on google, and my blog is the number 7th on the results page.

dont you think it is sooooo funny??its like,whats the link with my blog??how come i'm number 7th on the results page??

haaaaahahaha.i've been found out la.i have been ashin's girlfriend all along.you mean you didnt realise?come to think of it,its actually quite obvious ma.hahahahaha.

this is an extract from felicia's blog.she went for the concert too.and can see her very clearly cos she wore a cap among the masses.hahaha.

'i finally got some time off recently n i attended maydays concert 2days ago! wow..what a blast!

i must say im not a hard core mayday fan n may not know the lyrics to all their songs but i really enjoyed myself..some of u may have seen me dancing on my chair haha( psst..my manager shushed me down with her piercing eyes like 15seats away but in the end she ended up boogieing on her chair haha...she was like but u r an artiste! but hey....if concerts r all abt sitting down n clapping politely, then we shd just stay at home n listen to their cds=/)

anyway...mayday got everyone so high i tell u 99.99999999999999% of all ppl were like standing on their chairs...恋爱ing-ing tog=p

i sat at the 4th row( thank u terence for my tix!) n yes it was great seeing them so up close( guai shou threw his guitar pick next to my frens empty seat she was so shocked she just stared at it!!aless!!!haha i was like grab it! but in the end..someone from the back was faster=p) but i think one of the most 物超所值seats are by the sides...all 5 of them ran up n down along the aisles high fiving...singing so close i swear those girls wouldnt wash their hands 5 days straight..

after thought: really respect them for their love for music..3 hours with 30 songs is no joke n their efforts r much appreciated=) ps: hmm....seeing 怪兽with his guitar..i think hes totally charming...if i ever get the chance to meet a star, ill most prob wanna meet him n tell him...he is cool...n charming haha....oh man..embarrassing=/'

HAHAHA.i sat at the sides shes talking about! :)

see laaa.mayday is good right.

i cant wait for next time.hai.

and surina,happy har.someone shares your guai shou joy.lol.

i am so touched by Belinda's show..

this week she went to Africa, and she was going on with all those stuff..and she went visiting those poorer kids and families, teaching them stuff and just playing with them.

there was particularly this scene which really touched me.they were giving out clothes to a family to wear..they are so poor that they never changed the clothes they wear.

and there was this pretty pink dress..they gave it to this girl,who put it on. and..that sheer moment just touched me deeply. the look on her face, on everyone's faces, on how perfect it looked on her and that kind of glow that pink brings out in her.. tears just flowed from my eyes..

that kind of simple happiness, on receiving a pretty dress. that joy.. it broke my heart.

if i'm not wrong, the singaporean this week is called joyce, and she said that she dare not think shes on a higher level than these people, in fact she has got lots to learn from them. how they are easily contented and can be so happy. and shes just more blessed in material sense..thats all.

and seriously, the whole episode, i see how happy those little kids are, even if they are poor, but they are always with smiles.

sometimes it takes this kinda reminder to constantly remind ourselves of our more than enough. sometimes, we just need to find that simple joy in everything that we do. though we may not be able to directly help these people, i think the most we can do is to appreciate and to really make use of what we have.

you know in our lives we all have choices in whatever we do. yet, sometimes we fail to see that there are a portion of people born captive to circumstances and often find themselves with no choice at all. perhaps their only choice is being happy everyday.


i really really love Belinda's show so much.she gives me insights of this world..its sooo much bigger than we think.