hello.

I have been the most ardent fan since 2002, when michael owen first won my heart over. since then, i have never looked back or regretted my decision of supporting the club. It has been bittersweet with lots of ups and downs, personal experiences that i doubt any one who isnt a fan will understand.

The nights when I still crawl out of bed to watch late 3.30am matches though i have school the next day at 7.20am. Nights when i fall asleep in front of the TV watching yet another goalless champions league match. Late at night when we won and I couldn't care less and screamed and shouted and jumped around my living room, even screaming out of my balcony once. All the roller coaster rides. No, no one will ever get what I mean unless you are a liverpool fan.

It was like a dream come true when i had the chance to fly to london and take a train to liverpool to visit the almighty Anfield and watch you guys playing live. You simply have no idea how i still cherish that very trip till now. And i have every intention of going back and experiencing it again.

So now, please tell me why, after 19 years of exile, we are still left waiting and wanting? Sometimes excuses can hold up for a while.. but it has been 19 years. It is 20 years soon. And yes, the mark of every liverpool fan is their faith and their support of the team through thick and thin. but the inner most desire.. the ultimate glory..

And great, we just crashed out of Champs League. the trophy we so gloriously won in 2005. so.. just tell me.. how can i keep my faith? that feeling is almost indescribable. that disappointment.. sigh.

Lastly, just dug out a quote that i found back in 2006: "Supporting Liverpool is glorying in umpteen trophies, savouring the memories of those you've seen won in the flesh, those you've only heard on a crackling radio, those you know will come again in time. If you want quick fix football, go and support Chelsea - they need it according to their own manager. If you want something you can feel part of, something that is truly the people's club, then hang on, by your fingernails sometimes, and wait for the results. They'll come, and I'll savour them all the more for the waiting."

oh, not to mention the constant mocking and laughing coming from other sides of the camp. those who belong to the ManUre and money-faced side. oh the day. when it finally comes, that we can finally proudly show off for once.

Bittersweet.

Please. It is only November. Let the remaining 6 months count.

it is 2.41am now i really wanna sleeeeeeeep...


i am very sad because my internet every night also got problem and i just finished what i was supposed to finish a few hours ago. :(

i am also very sad because this week i seem to break my very good habit of sleeping early and waking up on time.


i feel so unsettled now.




k i shall go redeem my sleep now before i fall asleep in front of my faithful but super dirty mac.

haha. this was funny. made me laugh out loud.





had a long day.
lesson (it was good, own weakness n strengths..)
lunch (it was hilarious, and very interesting..)
botanic garden (way fun but tiring to the mxm, photography is chimology..)
town (darkcherry is quite yummy..)
wake


interesting with lots of little thought-provoking stuff in between.
thoughts that i'm too tired to think abt, so wrote it down to revisit them someday.


tomorrow's another long day.
seriously i have so many things i need to do..
finding myself needing to be at peace and prioritize well..




elearning is such a scam sometimes...



reallyyyyyyyy looking forward to monday - rest day. :)

its a wonder how he can make me laugh/giggle/smile with myself at my macbook's screen.

he brings such joy into my life!



and its so funny how his lyrics actually doesnt really make sense most of the time. imagine someone telling you that she likes you. and you tell her you wanna listen to rock n roll and go protect the earth tgt. lol.



heeee. love him. :) :D

• you've got issues.. seriously. time to take check and stop blaming everything else. let the walls come down. dont be afraid of being corrected.
  

• balance. finding the balance.

• cold rainy days = perfect for rainy day playlists.

• how do i do this? how do i navigate?

• have a serious case of missing black/blue pens. they ALWAYS go missing no matter how many times i restock them.

• need to find time to clear my room and do up the walls.

• 卢广仲 can cheer up the sianest/saddest day. fave playlist at the moment.

• rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
  

___________________






___________________

• trying to shorten the gap between the two. if you get what it means. lol.

• :( okay im going off now.
  

went to the old folks today. (and this is when kt would come in to be v pro cos hes so good with aunties n uncles.)


it was kinda the first. and that feeling is sooooo good. felt so fulfilled.


left with nothing, it is the simplest things that can bring joy.
even one packet of biscuits or milo.
or simply singing songs together with us.


their smiles.. :)
my heart went out to them.


and in the end adriel asked if our hearts were full.
yesssss it was full. :)

yadayadayadayada.


sometimes my mind and heart go yadayadayadayada.



but i'm learning to not give in and listen to them anymore.



because i no longer live for myself anymore... what with everything that happened. this truth dawned upon me even harder. dying to myself...



2009 is definitely not the sweetest or the easiest but its definitely experiential and beneficial. even when at times it doesnt seem so.


You.. i still choose You. thanks for putting such a great leader over my life. :)

these two made my otherwise :( night a little brighter! ichat with kt & LGZ's new album.. kt was doing his usual ichat effects stunt. haha. (ignore me)



i am reallyyyy nervous about tmr's presentation. gosh.

i have a few bruises on my leg which i have no idea where did they come from.


and it really rocks to have your own room huh?



okay i'm really tired. havent recovered fully from all the shebang moving stuff thing.


shall attempt to wake up early tmr morning to conquer the world again.
busy busy serious week ahead. good monday=good start.
jiayou ting!

wow..

today has been like super eventful from the moment i woke up till the end got like sooo many things happening.


so yes. now it is 1am and finally everything is settled down nice and proper. :)


i'm loving my new house.


my wardrobe is biggg though. and i categorized everything alr. currently the skirts section and the jackets/blazers section need more input. heee. and i need more dresses. (btw i'm v sad. because i have such a big wardrobe, all of them bully me and put all the winter clothes with me, so the last section is all taken up by ugly winter wear. :( )



i loveeeee my big mirror!


it has been so tiring that its unbelievable. moving house is like... erm. 1 weeks worth of gym or something. loll. and all the mopping, vacuuming, wiping, carrying, moving. wah man.


okayy my room is really pretty. :)


and i have a brown bed instead cos my mama forgot to buy black ones. :( so sad.

dont really know how am i feeling now..


but welllll... what you've said will sink in.


the ups and downs and ups and downs.




lifeeee and its complexitiessss.



if only everything was easy as 1, 2, 3.
and theres not much attached with anything.
and all those stuff all those lessons all those....
it seems like more than just 1, 2, 3,
there are like decimal points 1.2123/2.3435 and complicating maths attached to it.



but well. all will still be good in the end.
need a true friend.



goodnight.

"....唱一首属于我们的歌
让我们的伤都慢慢慢的愈合
明天我又会是全新的 OH

青春是手牵手坐上了
都不回头的列车
总有一天我们都老了
不会遗憾就OK了

伤心的 都忘记了
只记得这首笑忘歌
那一天天空很高风很清澈
从头到脚趾都快乐

我和你 都约好了
要再唱这首笑忘歌
这一生只愿只要平凡快乐
谁说这样不伟大呢

自己和自己打一架了
想通想不通反正就是这样了
不会再流泪更多了

有多少错误重蹈覆辙
有多少苦痛还不是都过来了
想起来甚至还会笑呢 OH

青春是人生的实验课
错也错的很值得
就算某天唱起这首歌
眼眶会有一点湿了...."



只有自己，能还自己快乐。

grace.
even when all around us is a mess.





faith.
trust and keep walking.

there is a price to pay for everything. living a life for God takes much more courage than i ever know.. everytime when i feel like giving up.. it is doing things that seems absurd to people and you dont even know how to explain.. it is painfully and hurtfully cutting away every single thing that is not of God's but of our own... and that is probably what hurts the most. because its a decision we make ourselves that people cant decide for us. we choose our own paths. the narrow way.




at the end of the day, i know it will be worth it.
at the end of the day, Your love and grace.. is overflowing and more than enough for me..