hello.

right after i blogged that ytd, i got hell.


i felt so angry my blood was really boiling inside... and one more second i'm gonna flare up that kind. for me to go to that kinda extent, it is quite something cos i seldom get so angry. that person must have some great 'character'.


sigh. 94 more days. lemme rant a bit.



i'm so tiredddddddd.



wanna have a good rest sometime soon but it seems like... the next holiday will be eaten up by shoot. sigh. :(


now would be good if there's dimsum in front of me. hot steamy ones with my favourite jiao zi. and perhaps chinese tea. and maybe add some steamed prawns? or some hot pizza with cheese would be good. or just a bowl of hot but not so spicy tom yum soup.

or just simply a warm pearly soya la :(

brought my lappie to work today. happily using it now :) feels so good to be able to facebook/listen to music/online shop at a corner without using the exposed desktop computer. heeeee. and being able to msn the whole day!

when i use the desktop computer, i have to minimize facebook to like ezlink card size and scroll around cos i'm really scared my boss will see hahahaha. so now i feel super liberated.

nowadays doing stuff that i'm better at, namely photoshopping pics and doing storyboards (i hate doing those actually). so i can like still cheat a bit and use my macbook.

looking at my gross nails kinda saddens me :( no time to change the colour and give it some TLC. okkkkk i will find timeeee!


i have been h&ming in between work and doing all sorts of funny stuff.. heeeeee. :) happy. for once, no monday blues! :)

ok back to h&ming now little while later go back workkk haha. must learn to give myself a break sometimes.

if there is one thing that i'm vvvv particular about, it is grammar.
and yes i admit, i am still not perfect, i still do make horrendous grammar mistakes here and there and i'm no grammar expert. (i always ask yingying sometimes) but i do care about basic grammar or basic english.


it is just me, to correct every grammar mistake in my heart whenever i read fb or blogs or whatever. and i just kinda cringe sometimes.


for eg.
a. did you went to the shop?
b. my hair is blacker then yours.
c. i just brought a new top.
d. Does this goes to Tampines?
e. you listens to this music too?
f. i have lose.
etc.


i'm sorry i just had to rant this out.

lets all look to a better tomorrow by correcting our grammar today.

(and, 'stucked' is actually wrong)
(and dont judge okay! i'm sure everyone has got something that they are particular about)




----------------------------------------

on another note, this is my 2nd week of intern, and as of tmr, 98 more days to go.

in short,

• every morning i catch the 8.28am bus and will be able to get to work on time. (and its double deck!)
• have to run several errands a week, like sending tapes to mediacorp/companies etc. and i'm starting to look forward to these to get out of office.
• most of the time theres nothing much to do. i'll stare into space and plan my outfits for the rest of the week.
• one of the perks of being in Macpherson is that somehow, there are alot of buses to almost anywhere!
• bus 8 is not as packed, and there'll somehow always have seats!
• nobody is particular about punctuality here. i likey.
• there are like tons of drinks in the office. and i really mean tons. coke/coke light/polar/orange juice/a lot of 3-in-1s/perrier/jiajia liang teh/ice lemon tea etc. its CRAZY.

but aiya. internship ma. we small fry only. haha.

i really do believe in affinity with library books. if its there for you, it is there for you. and you gotta be at the right place and the right time. that came after a disappointing trip to the library. but i did manage to pick up a promising book though.
see, its all about affinity.


got lost the second time at chinatown today. walked one whole big round past three buildings only to realise if i have walked straight, i would have reached my destination like 10-15mins earlier. i felt a little stupid.

but then after that, i consoled myself thinking: nvm, we gotta learn somehow that there are no shortcuts in life. haha!





i do have alot of thoughts and all about internship and random stuff though.
but my hk drama is calling out to me and i cant resist it.

OA.

wah very chio lei!!

i want that hair colour badlyyyyy.
but it always turns out ah lianish.



if i were a les i would fall for these girls really.
chio + fashionable + rich.
3 in 1 sia.

sometimes i wonder just how powerful can our thoughts and minds be.
how they manipulate our actions, and persuade us to think in a way we might regret.
how they control us.


i dont know if i'm really that scary, or am i just being too naive.
either one, i am not proud of it.
and everything just end up with me self blaming, and my self esteem goes plunging.


i read alot.
but how i wish i do have the ability to express how i feel with words perfectly.
because things always end up sounding wrong and i just always feel like a 5 year old fighting my case.


but on a basis of what?



i am not like that.
i am just too afraid.
i do need assurance from time to time.

well i guess sometimes, there are childish fits and cries because you just want attention and just want someone to 'sayang' you and tell you its okay.


just like a kid. when attention is not given, he screams and wails and cries out loud.


and i guess i'm like that sometimes too.




just another night when i'm feeling as if my imperfections are x1000 bigger,
and another night when my doubts and fears are more than the positives
and wishing i was someone else.
wishing i was x1000 better.
wishing that i am not like this.
cos maybe things will be better.


tomorrow will be better.

so for these 6 mths before i leave for china, i'm gonna start keeping an eye on cool winter looks, and start saving n buying nice clothes.


sorry i kinda am going for china not really to study. lol!


so i am gonna console myself from being absent from singapore by wearing the nicest clothes to school. haha!


so for my birthday, if you intend to get me anything,
just get me topshop/zara vouchers will do.
i will be a happy happy girl.


coats/jackets/blazers/cardigans/wool/skinnies/stockings/scarves
excitingggggg.

i think goodbyes are so funny. they do something to your heart.
seeing them, leaving.. leaves a sense of something in your heart.
excited, yet at the same time, gonna miss themmmm! going for classes etc.


but 128 days! cant wait for this 128 days to be over!
cos it means internship over too!
for once i was wishing i went china with them!


then its my turn for china!
i am dreading it... seriously.
only thing that is pulling me there is the clothes/shopping/food and the chance to play around with winter clothing.
thats all. :(



(prays that 128 days will pass by even faster than lightning but time will stop before sept.)

picked up another book today.
needed another lighter read to get me thru sleepless nights.

it was kinda an older book, with fonts like that on my blog.
and realised, newer books dont exist in such fonts anymore!
and they reminded me of old Enid Blytons that my sister passed down to me when i was young, yellowing pages, colourful hardcovers. sweet :)


always loved library books. even love yellowed n battered books more. with dog ear marks, stained pages etc. (though sometimes you'll find a random strand of hair in between pages or mysterious stains on random pages. and then i'll speed read those pages.)

gives me a sense of pleasure, knowing that the treasure within is passed from person to person, and different people get different inspirations from the same book.


and i think i work best with deadlines, because i'll feel a need to finish reading the books asap and its a motivation!


reading is such a pleasure..!
(but actually sometimes i do appreciate brand new books, the newness feel. but all my books end up battered and all under me. haha. but thats the whole point right?!)



am currently reading Post Office by Charles Bukowski.