hello.

thanks to all who smsed/facebooked/called. (elaine's virtual cake. haha!) :)

thanks to my dearest classmates, who bought a cake and sang happy birthday to me on tues night's class which i totally didnt expect! :)

thanks darren huang, for smsing n reminding the whole team. haha. when i woke up i was so shocked to see so many smses. haha. and thanks for picking team present too. haha. :)

thanks to dearest jiaxin, for spending 5hours with me. you have no idea how blessed and happy i was. more than the food/cafe/place/things, it is really the love that i felt.. and yes! your surprises really did surprise me. loved the cafe, loved the bookstore. you have no idea how much i actually enjoyed myself. thanks for the treat, thanks for the 'choose any book you want'. :) thanks for taking time out to spend my 19th with me. loveeeeeeeeee you lam! yes your letter will come!! :)

thanks to xiaoting, yulan, jonathan, marwin, weijian, kt. i was really surprised by the surprise. unexpected and i think its really cool! really thanks for the effort. i was really vvvv blessed. :)

thanks to yulan, yingying, cally, angelina for the present.. i know you all really discussed and planned and all. really thanks alot! :)

thanks to jonathan and marwin.. haha. you guys are really jokers. i laugh everytime i think of the failed hints and attempts. haha. and thanks for the 'waxing', 'sky diving', and leggings. hahaha. really thanks for the effort.. :)

thanks to surina for the about to come present.. you are really one friend that i appreciate alot too.. you are always there to encourage, always there to appreciate, always there to listen and give your support. and you always never fail to show your love for your friends.. touches me so much.. love youuuu! :)

thanks to yulan, yingying, cally, angelina, xiaoting, mx, weijian, jonathan, marwin, kt for the dinner + timbre. thanks for the treat + nonsense + dedication + your time. thanks for taking time out to spend with me on my 19th. :)

and though they wont see this, but also thanks to three more people.. donglin! i was so happy and touched that he called! though it was like, only two phonecalls, but i could really feel his happiness love and all.. it was soo touching. :)

kt! haha. the card was sooo hilarious and he really was very nice. made sure i felt okay and all. and treated me cab home! that means - money for his bags n shoes and all..! really big sacrifice man. lol.

and peter! omggg. when i reached home and found that mail package for me. i didnt think he would really buy! i was just joking with him a couple of weeks back.. and when i opened, A LIVERPOOL JERSEY!! i was sooooooooo touched!! and a selfmade card!! and wah the things that he wrote made me wanna cry.. peter never ever forgets eugene or my birthday every year.. and he would send very funny things over each year.. and its sooo heartwarming.. :)


Thank You. :)
-----------------------------------

had a good reflection. learnt quite alot today. despite all the things that happened.. despite every emotion that went thru me.. but i'm truly blessed with such great people around me. and gratefulness just filled me..


was even thinking.. is it even worth anything at all..
but after everything, it is not even about what i get back.. but its about still giving my 100%..


突然间.. 杨君伟说过的..闪过..
真诚..真心关心..
其实就是这么容易.. 简单..
又有几个人真正理解？

但我知道.. 今天后.. 我会更加努力做到那一点..


thanks to everyone.. it was a great 19th. :)

haha. everyone is still so cute. and everyone is still so funny. haha.


ooohhh my playlist shuffled to a really nice song now! (holds a concert and strumming the guitar in my head now. hahaha.)



barca 2-0 up now against man u. just sent a smiley face to tk. haha!!

i'm such a hopeless and a monster at painting my nails. like a kid who doesnt know how to draw yet and use colour pencils to draw way beyond the lines. :(

everytime after i paint, there'll sure be incidents where i'll scratch and bump into something and totally spoil the nails. haha. its pretty funny. cousin and i were laughing. hhaha.



had a great dinner out with family. so cool. :) really great with great food and great company. :) heartwarming.

today i had an reenactment of that fateful day in The Valley 3 years ago, just to get two East Entrance tickets to Liverpool vs Singapore.

shall not go into details, but it was sure mad, intense, and tiring. whats more, i was alone.


seriously, East Entrance tickets sold like hotcakes. i think its even hotter than the sun.


but yes, when i laid my hands on the two tickets, i even called kt and teared and screamed and all.

those precious two tickets.. i was like hugging it inside my laptop bag for the whole journey home. and randomly checking if its still inside.

its totally like The Valley, just different places. and yeah, like the other time, i prayed like dont know what also.

i was like even asking God how come this must happen twice? haha.

and what to say. God is so good. :)
though it seems like it was impossible, but if you cant take 'no' as an answer, there isnt any distance that can stop you.


"梦想有多远，就走多远。"
- a random quote i saw on tv which touched me in that moment.


k i am really drained. glad that next week is e-learning. need the space and rest to refresh n renew.

T: eh Jurong West not on loan lei, you can go get chen ying's recommended book and read. but then that book is like 23kg.

C: (a very shocked face) huh 23kg??

T: ya you see! 9000 over pages!



T: (then she suddenly realises) OH! SO SORRY! its 23cm not 23kg!



大笑... hahahahahaha. so silly.. hahahaha! 23kg is like almost half of me la! lol!

it hasnt been the easiest of two weeks. alot of big things happened. things that make me question and sometimes, even scared.

but i'm glad that now everything seems to answer for itself.. and after all the emotional trauma, i'm glad that the blurred vision is now very clear. i love my Jesus. :)


-----------------------------

i really kinda like radio production. sound waves, editing, protools, recording etc etc. its so fun! but more than that, you'll really see how each and every program and advertisement is carefully and skillfully put together. it makes me appreciate radio more.

radio has been really the one thing that grew up with me. and though now we are all moving into the mp3, illegal downloading (ahem to alot of people) era, but there still is this charm and this undeniable beauty in radio.

-----------------------------


and i really feel for you when you were sharing with me all the things that happened. about empathising. i can identify..

and i think, it is a great great thing to learn also. to always be compassionate, always be loving, and always be so sensitive to whatever that is happening ard. it is not always very convenient, but it is ever so important.

much to learn..

and i really miss my sister terribly.

it is another 11 days till shes back.

i spent a few mins trying to figure out how my fan works. and i think its highly amusing.

i'm super amazed at how high tech can a fan be now.

you know my fan can even have a 'sleep' mode. which troubled me for quite a while cos its sometimes strong and sometimes weak. irritates me. and i realised it has 3 modes.

and it can even oscillate not only left to right, but up down. or even better! both left right, up down! so it'll be like a confused fan, dont know which direction to go.

and it can even time itself. after certain timing can switch it off or go to sleep.

i have a remote control beside me now to control it.


isnt it amazing how high tech fans can be nowadays?! it seems like days ago that fans only have 1, 2 or 3 mode. now theres all these complicating stuff. haiyo!


its quite funny to note how all these stuff aim to help make our lives easier, but sometimes, it kinda fails and makes life more difficult instead. :S

one of the things that makes me go oh oh:

He won Footballer of the Year Award. :)


Someone, by sheer willpower and character,
showed the world that everything can be fought for.

Someone, who will give his 101% for the team.

Someone, who leads by example, not just words only.

Someone, who can singlehandedly turn the whole game around.

Someone, who scored 23 goals this season. :)

Someone, who constantly takes the responsibility to
continually be the best that he can.

Someone who doesnt shrink or run away from any blame,
or any form of criticism.

Someone who really exemplifies what he believes in
and holds strong to his beliefs.

Someone who loves his wife and children deeply. :)


AND he shares the same birthday month as me. just 3 days apart. :)



one dayyyyy.. i'll meet him. and i'll tell him how much i love him..!
and get him to sign on everything that i own. hahaha.


:)

and btw, i think its a totally cool thing, and written in the stars even, that i share EXACTLY the same birth time as his daughter. though different day la. but helloo..! out of like 1440 mins in a day, i was born same hour same minute as his daughter!

so cool right!! like totally. hahaha.

i wanted to bathe.. but my sister got ahead of me..

you know that kinda feeling?


yaaa.. cek ark.. lol.




my sister is going to hk/macau for like, 2 weeks. :(
when she was gone for 5 days i was alr feeling very sianed.
now its 2 weeks without all the nonsense.



i really want a day to sleep in and to do nonsensical things again.
to lie there and read my books. to watch random movies. to just do nothing in particular.



holidays is like, 4 weeks later...
:(


i feel like going for a mini holiday for like 2-3 days. haha.



ranting ranting ranting.


okay i dont really have energy to do my presentation now. i shall make it last min again okay? hahaha. grrrrrr. for now, its rest. i like. :)

haha. i was proved wronggg..

it was a pretty interesting experience though. i felt quite woah. and glad that i was proved wrong.. now i know and understand..


and i'm pretty wowed too. cos i realised it brings out a side of me that is otherwise, very hidden. so it trains me.


exciting right? haha. ya i think so too. :)




and its really always great to have donglin back on weekends!

and it broke my heart again.. sent tears to my eyes..

why..?

why?


shocked, scared, apprehensive, doubtful, angry, frustrated

but yet.. underneath all these..


what is real?

i was deeply impacted, on both wednesday and thursday. by the things said and the link that it had. sitting there listening to shi shu ping talk abt china's 4000 years of bondage, plus all the different superstitions.. and recalling what was taught in BS on wed.. and i was wowing on the inside. it is so exciting..!


----------------------------------

had a random dinner with mama and her colleagues. and they mentioned how they've seen me grow from a little girl who follows her mum everywhere carrying a book wherever i go, to such a big girl now. and it was so enjoyable. like i could actually participate in their conversations and it was something i couldnt do before.


and i really enjoy little meetings like this. such a simple and random dinner. but it is so enjoyable. i've learnt to appreciate little things like this now that i'm older. when i was younger, i used to tag along but i didnt understand the joy.

and i realised, it is little things like this, that make up the big things. when you connect, and when you share. and it is just in these little things that you find the drive and the love to continue forward.






love, faith, passion, hope.
they are invisible, not seen with the eyes.
but they can be felt. so strongly.

-------------------------------


thanks lam for the extra effort. thanks for sharing once again. theres no better person to be caught in a jam together other than you. hahaha.

actually i didnt know 3/4 of what you told me.. and i'm proud of you. :)

it has been years.. and i know its hard.. but you've made it. :)

still a process, but i know you are stronger than that. :)

-------------------------------

and i miss my sister terribly! shes only coming back tmr night!

and before i zzzz today is a very happening friend's bday-

(i clearly just stole it from fb)



marcus woo kum yong! happiest 19th birthday!

my advisor in anything doing with handphones/cars. and we share the same hairstylist, share the same passion in london, share the same birthday month(haha!), share kinda the same nokia phone. haha.


please meet up soon. i miss all your nonsense. together with wyy.

and seriously you are still one of the first i'll think of whenever i wanna buy a phone. lol. you always know your stuff man. and i really miss sec sch days with you wyy and jonathan chan. haha. all the rubbish we did tog before. and both of us used to have v happening sch bags. lol.


movie/starbucks/shopping/random soon soon okayyyyy.


happy 19th again. :)

i wanna fly to london now.


like now now.

and come back when everything's over.


can right? lol.


apparently not.

while doing 荷塘月色 from 朱自清:

me: we really gotta act like we really know the san wen man.
caryn: haiyooo i really wish i did xuzhimo, at least i know him better than zhuziqing.
me: i wish i did on zhang tingting lor. i know her the best.

HAHAHA! i think i said a super funny joke! hahahaha!

seriously if i did a presentation on myself, i dont need to burn midnight oil alr. hahaha. i think its one of the funniest jokes i've ever said man. hahaha!!



okay i'm highly amused by myself. shall go back to my dear 荷塘月色 now.

and gosh i blogged 4 times in a night! haahahaha. so amusing.



PS. i've been so faithfully not coming online. and faithfully sleeping earlier everyday. try not to after 1am. and now its 1.48am. its way past my bedtime and i really feel very cek ark.

k i'll come online even lesser and sleep even earlier to make up for tonight.

dear God,

wont you let the weather turn cold once again?
so i can start wearing my blazers/cardigans/jackets/layers again.

but dont let it rain okay?
just cold will do.


:)

i just realised, it shld be ard this time last year that i bought my mac.

so.. it is officially 1st anniversary with my dear macbook!

and i think i've been a really good owner. i take good care of it and give it a bath every once in a while and i rave abt it to anyone who is willing to listen.

and our love goes on and on. i love it more today than ytd, or last year. hahaha.

yay. though my apple family is not completed yet. haha.



and and. i totally think all np lecturers (or maybe only CHS ones) need to go thru 'how-to-come-up-with-cool-powerpoint' workshops. shld totally go learn from joanna or our preps team. each time i see their powerpoint i'll be zzzzzzzz. i believe all need to upgrade to more graphical and cool and interesting designs, with clear points and nice pictures. or even upgrade to keynote.

exciting powerpoints are the key to keep your students awake dont you think so? with cool transitions. cos exciting powerpoints make life more exciting! hahaha.

so caryn, rmb to do up exciting powerpoints next time you teach those little ones. :) haha.


k im gonna eat nowwwww. goodbyeeeee.