okay so this is my 5th week as an intern.

i do have alot of thoughts and all about being one. but never once have i realised how consuming it would be. more than the boss-and-me thing going on, it is the whole 9-6 routine thats kinda confusing my body in a way. now, i can no longer stay past 1am, actually, 11pm is already quite a difficulty.

now i truly understand how physically tiring it is to hold a proper job. everyday when you end, you just want to go home, settle down and sleep.

realised that:

1) i've not caught up with my emails, i used to be so particular about clearing my emails, deleting them etc. now, i only open those that i wanna read, the rest i just leave it there. so goodness! i have 310 unread mails now, which in ting2_1990's history, there is no such thing.

2) i have a whole list of blogs (73 in total. gosh! didnt know i followed so many) on my mac mail on RSS feed, and i used to be super particular abt it too, every single post of every single blog must be read. but now, i have SO many unread posts from SO many blogs, i only read the impt ones.

3) i used to go on msn every other day or every night, but since i started work for 5 weeks, i think i've only been online for less than 5 times? and the offline msgs all flood in when i sign in. lol.

4) and! i do follow a few shows and download movies and all. i used to be faithfully watching them right after they are out but now, i cant even find the strength to finish watching one epi at night, cos i'll fall asleep. so i split it over two days to finish an epi now. kua zhang!

5) i am such an online addict, i cant live without going online or using my laptop every night. but now, i dont even switch on my mac for days on straight anymore. i just go for my bed every night. (okay actually this is the reason for all of the above)


um so yes. if you havent realise it, tingting is undergoing such a weird change in lifestyle that used to be so impossible. now, i actually CAN hear my alarms in the morning!

--------------------------------------------------------

and on a sidenote, after experiencing this kinda life for 5 weeks, i truly understand what Post Office by Charles Bukowski is talking about. am currently reading another book on death & life now, and it kinda brings alot of messy thoughts.

because it is so easy to let life be a routine, a 9-6, a repetition of what you did yesterday, a continuation of what you are going to do today, and you just let yourself be, getting used, going through life, going through the motion.

and soon, you'll lose the reason for doing anything, and it just keeps going on and on and you dont understand and dont really get why. and sometimes... you just kinda wanna break free from it. i find myself doing lesser and lesser the things that i love doing, i find myself having lesser and lesser time for myself, starting to live life just living but not really participating. if you get what i mean.

(and i think thats why now i love every bus ride and train ride, i get to be myself again. and i read and read. the best part of my day is the time spent on buses - for reading. and i managed to finish a few books already!)

thats why, i now understand what mayday has been singing about all along. haha. i dont know if i make any sense, but i feel that its so so true for me.

maybe kinda in the phase that i wanna do something crazy and out of the world this time, just to defy the routine-ness. like scream and shout like mad. i guess i need a mayday concert now :(

well i guess the ingredient missing in tingting's everyday life is - passion.
======================

+

this is my new fave blogger. not fashion one for once. but when i go to her site, i somehow always feel peaceful and happy. just feel so simple and carefree somehow. and some of her posts are really very cool :)


.......................................................

be thankful always,
be simple,
be positive,
be happy. always.