talent.

sooo... a friend asked me today, what is my talent. i honestly didn't know what to reply. is it a weird thing that i dont know what is my talent? i mean... i know what i'm good at, what i can do. but do they count as talents? i thought talent is something you are naturally good at?

that is why i often envy those whose talents are obvious. they are so blessed! even though i know God is not biased and that we all have our own talents, but i cant help but wonder sometimes, how do we know? what is my talent?

i guess... i'm good at doing slides? (actually this is trained. is that counted as one? and i dont think i am extremely good either, i just kinda know what works.)
i guess... i'm good at dressing? (this comes with age as well. and honestly, i think i look like crap on most days... hmmm.)


and everything else is a big question mark, to me. or am i so used to everything that i dont realise what i'm good at? is it REALLY that important to know what are you good at? i mean... i do know what is in my capabilities and what is not. so i do things accordingly. does knowing what i can do = talent?

if i were picking my own talents like playing the Sims, i would have a hard time deciding, cos i want EVERYTHING. how cool is it to be a really charismatic person and a captivating speaker? how cool is it to be able to write so well people get lost in your words? how cool is it to be so musically talented that people stand in awe of your voice and skills? how cool is it to be such a good chef that you can cook up something without needing recipes? how cool is it to be such a creative person, that there are no limits to anything and you can create something out of nothingness?

i guess i am still journeying to discover myself. in a sense, it is not a bad thing. cos it keeps me on the toes and not trust in my own abilities but in God. just like leading praise in CG, honestly, i sucked. but hey, that is why i need to pray beforehand that EVEN THOUGH i suck, God still can use me to bless others. even if i become a laughing stock, it is to the glory of God.


reminded of a quote that i posted before:

and the angel said,
"Every man hath the right to doubt his task, and to forsake it from time to time; but what he must not do is forget it. Whoever doubteth not himself is unworthy - for in his unquestioning belief in his ability, he commiteth the sin of pride. Blessed are they who go through moments of indecision."

-fifth mountain.

honestly, i dont know what i am talented in. but i'll just follow Jesus anyway. somehow along the way, maybe i'll have my answer finally. :)


[PS. dug out my old diary, found A LOT of paulo coelho quotes from fifth mountain. actually though i find him quite overrated at times, he does write good books. just read a few selectively. else, it gets quite repetitive. shall find someday to post up those inspiring quotes, instead of my usual depressive quotes. ha ha ha.]


"How we need another soul to cling to."

"Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn't stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren't having any of those. "

"I like people too much or not at all. I've got to go down deep, to fall into people, to really know them."

"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long."

- Slyvia Plath

Was just researching on some of her quotes. She is so unique. How she is so blunt, yet so accurate. How she plays around with words and imagery, and how those words pierce through to your heart. Shockingly precise and yet beautifully subtle. Isn't it amazing how you find yourself in words that were written by other people? It's as if you guys shared the same life. That's the beauty of words - connecting people together in very different circumstances.