i left my house with my ipod and phone and wallet today..

then i sat beside the canal and stared and stared..playing slow songs..

and then i realised that i have been so wrong.so so wrong.

always thought that i'll move on,it'll be okay.but then..its actually the opposite.i have been shutting myself up in this area for so long.

so when i heard you crying your heart out outside my door,and i was crying too in my room,i was surprised by myself..how hardened my heart is.

so my tears just kept falling down..
and how i wished someone would just call me and be there for me.
i have never really opened up to anyone before in my life..esp in this area.till now.
i just needed someone to hear me..and not talk.not judge me.not criticise me.

its the first time in my life that i felt so..forsaken.
its as if i'm mute i cant talk i dont know what to reply you when you cried so heartbrokenly.

i am imperfect i still do need to learn a lot of things.

i sat there for hours.

in as much as i try to make everything look perfect,i realised in the end,i am still very much imperfect.was trying so hard to 'appear strong',but realised everything that i can do,theres a limit.

i still do fall sometimes.