had alot of thoughts and feelings.
if theres one thing that i struggle most constantly with, it is feeling insecure, and inferior, and feeling really bad abt myself. inevitably, sometimes even comparing.


well last saturday, i did feel x10000 worst cos i felt i was the unprettiest amongst all the gowns and hair and whatnots.


but i came to realise, being who you are, being proud of yourself, being the uniquely you, is so so important. i think one very apt example is my sister. she may not be the best at where she is, but shes always so sure of herself, knows what she is good at and developing it further, knows what she wants and go for it. she is just herself.



this zhang tingting,
who cries watching a liverpool match, who tears watching a mayday concert, who yawns without covering her mouth ever, who has really large feet, who has the weirdest sitting position sometimes, who really asks alot of questions (since young), who is really blur and sharp at the same time, who feels and thinks alot, who is SUCH a homebody, who is so messy but yet organized at the same time, who loves admin/paperwork sometimes, who kinda always sees the good side of things instead of the ugly, who is super cek ark abt grammar, who is soo obsessed with nails, etc.


i may not be the best, but i'm sure i'm good at something.
i'm good at being zhang tingting.
and i need to create my own world and be sure, be steady, be me.


let me try for once k?
give me time to break out of this, and grow on my own.
i may stumble, i may fall, but i'll try.
to be myself, and nobody else.




thanks :)