sometimes i really wonder, how is it even possible that after such a long time... you just dont get it? how is it that... a heart can be so proud and so self-justifying? that how is it that i can be so numbed to all these anymore.. it doesnt strike me anymore like it used to. it is just facts to me. but i marvel... at your stubborness and your pride. at what expense? irreversible. and it doesnt affect only you, it affects a whole lot of people. forever. and the damage is way beyond imaginable. now what is there left to fight for? i remember very vividly what i wrote on the envelope that year. but i dont even carry such hope now. i dont even hope now. i shun and i avoid. i dont want to meet you. it irks me and it makes me feel uncomfortable. alot. i always cry at those same scenes and plotlines at every movie, and this, i guess not many will understand. and i guess thats the reason why i turn out this way too? was watching 'Taken', and how i wished for the same. and yeap, i teared at the end. i dont even know you. have you ever cared? have you ever loved? have you ever shown it? i dont know whats going to happen. this relationship.. has been mixed with so much hurts, cuts, wounds, disappointments, anger.. that it dissolves everything else. you played a cold role in my life. i wish i could say otherwise, i wish it was different. but nope. last year i cried alot about this. this time round... i guess it is numbed alr. good in a way. :)

goodbye to you then. :)


no one deserves to go through any of this.