hello.

haha.just ate like,12 guo tie.i'm like still hungry.i ate bar chor mee + bubble tea+the guo ties okay..i'm still so hungry.whats happening to your dear tingting??haahahaha.drinking yakult to repent from my sin.cos i'll run for the toilet later.haha.

well..went to buy soccer boots with yulan today.and all i can say that if that shoes are meant to be yours,it'll be yours.haha.then she was doing her pw and i thought the topic was pretty predictable but i dont think anyone has got a perfect answer for it.if i'm not wrong its something like,someone changing the world then write and do research about it but of course in the positive way.

if i rewrite the question,someone who changed the world that you look up to as well..who will you answer?haaa.such a predictable question but i always dont have an answer to it.

then i was thinking about the contrast of the ending of a day and the beginning of a day.of course new days new beginnings are good but dont you think so that alot people dont always end the day well to embrace a new day?

well..i've always liked the silence of the night better.i love to see the day ending and then just go to sleep..like how one by one my family goes to sleep,how the swimming pool's light goes off,and then i'll stand by the window and count how many lighted windows are there still left.haha.and wondering whats keeping them up still.

i dont know how to explain but i just thought the ending of a day and the beginning of another day the ironic and contrast is pretty interesting.how come we always look forward to a new day when all else fail?how come it doesnt occur to us that its as important to end off the day well too..?or because before dawn,everything's the darkest so we always look forward to a new day?

anyway,digressing,both of my fave hongkong dramas are ending soon.so saddening.. :(

HAHAHA.see the picture!hahaha.see the one i draw with red and here???hahahha!THAT IS MY SEAT FOR THE CONCERT MAN..ohmann..heeeee.. :) so sososo so very very happy. :)

好爱阿信写的这首歌：

我骄傲的破坏
我痛恨的平凡
才想起那些是我最爱
让盛夏去贪玩
把残酷的未来
狂放到光年外(而现在)
放弃规则放纵去爱
放肆自己放空未来
我不转弯我不转弯
让定律更简单
让秩序更混乱
这样的青春我才喜欢
我要我疯我要我爱就是
我要我疯我要我爱现在
一万首的mp3一万次疯狂的爱
灭不了一个渺小的孤单
盛夏的一场狂欢来到了光年之外
长大难道是人必经的溃烂
我不转弯我不转弯

《盛夏光年》

and i realised penny dai has got some cool stuff too i linked her space you can go and see. :)

刚刚在网上看五月天在新加坡的签唱会，每次看他们那种感觉…是无法形容的。看着他们卖命演出，好喜欢好喜欢他们哦…

spiritual stuff aside,they really really changed my life like a lot.my beliefs my aspirations my dreams..its really very amazing that they really really changed such a big part of me..at first I bought their album cos I thought the changing covers thing is cool and then I thought the album was pretty nice so I just continued buying and then don’t know how..their magic kicked in.

then i started to use the thinking part of me and how we can see the world in so many different angles.you can say its my first step of maturity..and things havent been the same since.

actually you can say that yanzi was like my first ever singer that i really idolized.cos she was the first one who really amazed me by her singing.then i wanted to be like her so i kept singing her songs.and then..hahaha.it was her that broke my first thought of stardom too cos my family was criticising me that i dont have a singer's voice so i actually sucked in singing then i remembered i was so heartbroken that time i cried big time until my mum gotta console me and say shes just kidding,which i till now,know shes telling the truth about my bad singing.hahhaha.

but really..mayday's like..magic.i practically gotta bite my fingers while watching them cos i'm really that extreme.and this certain yuan with them..like whenever my ipod's on shuffle mood,and i'm feeling down,somehow,it will always shuffle to mayday's songs and then i feel so good again.haha.

aiya..dont know how to describe la but its really cool to have a band or a certain musician you can connect to.its very soul fulfilling.its like chicken soup to your soul.haha.

haha.i tell you,one day,i will have the chance and time to tell them how much they changed my life. :) and surina,i will help you tell them you love them too.haha.

haaa.was watching renci just now..admit that its really quite touching.that kinda determination and love and endurance its like piercing through the tv into my heart kinda thing..hahaha sounds so poetic.but wells.hahaha.

anyway..i realised i really am not that affected by my family stuff.though when i see the cake in the fridge and the new plants and stuff,i will feel touched and sad and stuff but well..life goes on.i'm not adopting a 'living a too accepted life' policy but i just feel that seriously,i have nothing to be afraid of and scared or anything to fear of cos i know and i know and i know that i am already very blessed and though it will be valleys so deep that will soon come,but i just know that my daddy will be with me through everything.its really so so much more comforting to know that someone hurts and understands you completely.you dont even need to explain.after sy rogers service i was so so touched cos i can really practically feel God's pain when he sees me going through all these alone.and that alone is enough for me.

so now i can just throw aside everything and really to not think about it anymore cos somebody will settle it for me and then can fully focus on more pressing issues.i'm very determined to change what we have in a month's time.at least to see some improvements..it really burdens me to see everyone's condition like that.

theres so many things to do and i really hope theres still time.

well nowadays..'quitted' my job,(cos i'm not very sure yet i havent done the exit interview..haa.)and got myself a little notebook to write all the random stuff.and life's pretty much in the change..new cell group,new responsibilities,new environment,new challenges to face.can really feel that sudden change in everything..and sometimes,changes are like a very cold shower when the hot water breaks down and you realise a lot of things harshly.

but in anyway,its up to me to make the best of what comes my way.so i'm not complaining but leaving everything i hold closest to me to my dear father up there.. :)

i was watching the tv just now cos my mama watching some politics stuff then heard that USA gonna attack iran now after the iraq saga cos of dont know what reason.it was channel 52.then during the advertisement my mum switch to channel 51 then it was very passionately playing some hope and peace music.then i was thinking the contrast is pretty weird.

people with the most influential positions and the power to change systems and decisions but trying to complicate this world up and on the other side,the human nature of all beings is trying to use the soul and getting the message across that hope peace love is more important.its just like flesh vs soul.just like what pastor said,if only those with the power to validate can really use the leadership positions to try to change human nature,the world will be so much different.

but really,this battle of greed and lust of the flesh will always be in full force against the delicate human touch of every soul..and its so saddening..

今天早上 在地铁上
有个有趣的画面...

站在两个人的面前
一个正在秃头 一个有很另类的品味的女生... 不知道为什么...心里有一种莫名的感觉

那男生其实也没怎么凸出
只是秃头而已
但比较少见的后面秃头法
他的脸上流露出被岁月狠狠留下的痕迹...
可能已经认命了吧
所有的灿烂都是曾经...

那位女生
一走进地铁 大家就一直看她
应该说她真的很另类
服装上还蛮特别的
想必经历过很多批评吧...
才可以真正找到自己...不管别人的眼色。

突然觉得
世上没什么好悠的吧
每个人都有自己的烦恼
只是看怎么去面对吧...

所以现在在我生命发生的
只不过是一个阶段
我会尽量用最好的态度去面对

你们也不用太担心

虽然那两个人可能对你们来说没什么...
但对我来说 他们仿佛告诉我
其实人生没烦恼才可悲

飞过人间的无常
才懂爱才是宝藏

its just like the past few days of forced tears come running down as if its gonna be the last time i'm crying..sometimes..you just dont seem to understand life.i was willing to change my mindset to start over again but its always event after event happening that pulls me down to harsh reality.sometimes changing is difficult.sometimes forgiveness is hard to give.i dont want to hear people telling me its ok i should try to forgive i should try to let go.because its just not the time yet..theres still more hurt to follow before the whole saga finishes.

this is my home which i am supposed to get all the love and care.but i find myself shutting myself up and the whole process is too personal.i sometimes feel so trapped in my house.no freedom at all..being talked to because its part of the supposedly 'family life'.i hate that.stop talking to me stop asking me questions if you dont care in the beginning.thats why i'm not speaking to anyone at home nowadays.my sister is the only bridge and person i can talk to.

if this is what God planned,hurt me more.let me be hurt to the max so next time,nothing else can inflict the same hurt.

i hate what i'm supposed to love.

爱是宝藏..

"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world."

i thought this was cool.by a website marcus gave me.

postsecret.blogspot.com --its wayyy cool.but i thought the pubic hair thing was disgusting..hahaaa.

i think i'm like suffering from some unknown kinda emotional stress.what and who am i playing at?i dont understand..the past promises i promised myself i find myself breaking them again.how the reality is so cruel that i find myself tightly shutting that hole up.how i just cant do it.how i just wanna stop everything..and lie on my bed..and stare into space.how i just cant live up the expectations of others cos of this bugging stupid side of me.

can i say..i'm a very weird person.i know whats right i know whats the right thing to do in situations.but that struggle within yourself while trying to get yourself right is so cruel you know.like in situations i know i cant be thinking like that so i force myself to think right.like right now,though its like a big struggle,i know its wrong of me to think like that i gotta force myself to think right.its hard..so hard without any convincing side of it.i can let myself flow with life again like last time but i know it wont do me any good.thats just like running away.

but what exactly am i running away from?
i dont know.

you are the only reason i'm holding on to all these and not breaking up yet.

sometimes i really wonder what my troubles and thoughts really matter in this world.its too too big.way too big that sometimes,who and what does it matter?not in a pessimistic way but the world is so big that why are we still so troubled and caught up with our lives only..?what can all these matter to a broken down world?