i think i'm like suffering from some unknown kinda emotional stress.what and who am i playing at?i dont understand..the past promises i promised myself i find myself breaking them again.how the reality is so cruel that i find myself tightly shutting that hole up.how i just cant do it.how i just wanna stop everything..and lie on my bed..and stare into space.how i just cant live up the expectations of others cos of this bugging stupid side of me.

can i say..i'm a very weird person.i know whats right i know whats the right thing to do in situations.but that struggle within yourself while trying to get yourself right is so cruel you know.like in situations i know i cant be thinking like that so i force myself to think right.like right now,though its like a big struggle,i know its wrong of me to think like that i gotta force myself to think right.its hard..so hard without any convincing side of it.i can let myself flow with life again like last time but i know it wont do me any good.thats just like running away.

but what exactly am i running away from?
i dont know.

you are the only reason i'm holding on to all these and not breaking up yet.