haaa.was watching renci just now..admit that its really quite touching.that kinda determination and love and endurance its like piercing through the tv into my heart kinda thing..hahaha sounds so poetic.but wells.hahaha.

anyway..i realised i really am not that affected by my family stuff.though when i see the cake in the fridge and the new plants and stuff,i will feel touched and sad and stuff but well..life goes on.i'm not adopting a 'living a too accepted life' policy but i just feel that seriously,i have nothing to be afraid of and scared or anything to fear of cos i know and i know and i know that i am already very blessed and though it will be valleys so deep that will soon come,but i just know that my daddy will be with me through everything.its really so so much more comforting to know that someone hurts and understands you completely.you dont even need to explain.after sy rogers service i was so so touched cos i can really practically feel God's pain when he sees me going through all these alone.and that alone is enough for me.

so now i can just throw aside everything and really to not think about it anymore cos somebody will settle it for me and then can fully focus on more pressing issues.i'm very determined to change what we have in a month's time.at least to see some improvements..it really burdens me to see everyone's condition like that.

theres so many things to do and i really hope theres still time.