hello.

was talking to my sis today.. told me about the different politics going on. the different stories.. different views.. different conflicts..

as i was listening and registering what she've said, other than the incredulous feeling that wow my sis actually is sharing with me this kinda stuff, i felt so strongly..

that even as you grow up, it becomes harder and harder to stay true to yourself. it is so so easy to take on another identity, to take on something that others think is good. when you were young, it feels so easy to be who you wanna be.. and as you grow up.. it becomes something hard to hold on to.

have seen people who drifted away. seen people changed.

and it is the convictions and your beliefs.. that hold you back. that make you stay true.. if not.. it is so so hard to step out there and survive. because you'll get influenced instead..

actually that wasnt even the whole gist that my sis was talking about. haha.
-----------------------------------------------------------

caryn's 21st.



this came 2 days late. sorry blogger was being idiotic.

anyhow toilet mate, happiest birthday!!
been a blessing to have known you. (anyhow chose this pic cos the rest vv pretty hahaha so one unglam one lol!)
and everyone needs a friend who chiongs last minute work together, who flows together, who understands each other at a glance.
and ya you are like my bff in school. haha. alot of times when you give a face i totally know what you are thinking about. hahaha!
and who else would not sleep before submission and chiong with me on msn. haha.

love you. stay pretty. :)

still rmb when you used to go to school in the ugliest and shaggiest clothes ever. lol.
see how much we've all grown!

-----------------------------------------------------------
august spells alot of things.

more essays, more projects, more deadlines, more stress.

and of course in everything, there are still things to look forward to.
and these are two things that i'm highly looking forward to.

on 16 aug, my favouritest thing ever is starting again:



:)

and on 29 aug, my also very favourite thing is coming to town:



:)

sweet.

in every cloud, theres a silver lining.







i need to get out of all these.. soon soon soon!
keep going keep going!

上个礼拜好像blog过...

时间快转它不停的快转
旋转我跟着旋转
失去方向我没有方向
迷失方向我模糊了焦点
想不通太多道理呀
就选择遗忘

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

when you fall and injure yourself, you start to bleed.
and eventually once the blood hardens, there forms a scab.

underneath the scab, torn skin is being repaired.
damaged blood vessels are being fixed.
germs and dirt are fought off.
miraculous stuff are happening to give a complete new layer of skin.

the purpose of a scab.
it protects and gives the injured part chance and space to heal.
picking at a scab too early will make the healing process even longer.



so i'll say. lets all just wait for the scab to fall off by itself naturally no?
the torn skin is not quite ready to face the world yet.
let it pace itself by its own momentum.
and emerge with a brand new layer of skin.

understooded: its something me & me alone who must get through this on my own.

i am .... afraid.

theres loads of stuff that happened the past couple of weeks.

1) Liverpool's match.











alvin and his friend totally bought popcorn for the match from leisure park. which amused me alot. haha. well the match.. had alot of 感触. would have loved it more if gerrard was there. (that banner with 'what do you mean gerrard is not coming?' is srsly cool). and thank goodness i found a liverpool jersey like, the night before. and so glad my sis was with me as well. met lots of new people!

well all i can say that at the beginning it was really awkward. cos from my experience, the KOP end is NEVER quiet. it is ALWAYS in cheers and chants. but in singapore, it was completely quiet till i almost fell asleep and nod off in the first half. reminded me so much of my liverpool match 3-4yrs ago. me crying in the crowd and singing together YNWA. its alot of difference.


but then again.. its singapore. i still had goosebumps when we all sang in the end though. and i m pretty sad didnt really cheer gerrard's cheer. but well.. thats why i love london and liverpool so much. I WILL GO BACK SOON!

2) xiaoting's 21st (ahem).

the unpublished, behind-the-scene pictures:






yep thats us all chionging and going crazy signing 15 cards. and thats kt who wanted a personal pic of him signing the cards very hardworkingly.

love this bunch of people. :)



spot the difference! can you see something amiss? haha.

3) caryn's 21st. (this one really 21st).







will do a proper post for you la k. haha. but yeah it was a fun night. :)
has been ages since i last went sentosa. and shumin + zy totally made my day. they are so blur and so funny at the same time. haha.

missing: Lee Muiwei.

and caryn. you pretty pretty on ur celebration la. hahaha. paper curls and super nice eyesss.. haha. seriously ah. you look so different when you dress up!



random. but i really like the sea at night! its so calm and.. peaceful.

4) random.


look at those shoes!! omg! jak&jil (anw got mirror on top one la. haha.)

was looking thru this architecture blog (from jx's). and wow i totally fell in love with this house's concept. haha. look at those shelves! and the river and its totally a loft which is super comfy and all la. like a private hideout.


5) really random.


you know what do i wish for now?

to pack my luggage with all 7 HP books, and jet off somewhere beachy.
with a nice comfy chair by the seaside outside the hotel/resort room.
with frozen fruit juices/punches beside me.
with the sun shining down but 蒙蒙胧胧 that kind.
alone.

seriously rereading HP books, leaves me in awe of how genius Rowling is. she thought of every plot and detail right from the beginning of the books. and everything just worked out perfectly in the end!



i really need and want a good break to feed my soul again. i feel as if my soul is being sucked into all sorts of things. and i need to find myself once again.. you know? that kinda feeling..

i need time alone.



nowadays it feels like its so noisy outside it gets overwhelming on the inside.

and thats why i love coming home to an empty house.
and also why i cant wait to move and get my own room..

6) meetup.

met up with E last week. talked for hours in Mcdonalds.
saw how much she grew from the beginning of the year.

thanks for being so truthful and honest with me.
thanks for listening as well.. :)

it is really hard sometimes, to even find people who understand. and whom can identify with you. so thanks for being that some one. :)



theres still alot of stuff that happened. but yeah. gonna do it another day.

lots of birthdays coming up.. = -money. :(

SLEEP.

Sleep.

sleep.



i want to sleep.

i need to sleep.


grrrrrrrrrrrrr.


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

时间快转它不停的快转
旋转我跟着旋转
失去方向我没有方向
迷失方向我模糊了焦点
想不通太多道理呀


i remember last year it was during this time this period that i went thru quite alot and been stretched like alot.. had alot of stress.. emotionally physically mentally.

and this year.. it is the same but different measure in different aspects.

sometimes you wish as if at a word '遗忘' and things will be gone. but no.



things that i yearn to do:
1) reread ALL my HP series.
2) finish my ‘活着’.
3) read lam's bday present.
4) arrange and clean my room.
5) do some DIY stuff on my old clothes.
6) cut and paint my nails a pretty shade of pink/shocking blue.
7) watch useless movies.
8) basically just finish the whole book list in my mind. it has been getting quite long and i havent been ticking off any books.



for once, i really wish the hols will be here like, tmr.

my sis said: we'll go london next year, but you'll have to save up $3000 on your own for your air ticket and accommodation.

knowing myself.. hmmm..