am listening to the radio now..suddenly craving so much of the past.not exactly the things of the past but the pure and simple days..going home early after school switching on the radio and singing like nobody's business.i remember during my pri 4 year..my grandmum will be at home.she'll cook some very simple pancakes for me.and i remember at around 5pm we will go down to swim together.shes 70plus but she still swims.and she plays the piano too..

suddenly six years down the road,my grandmum gotta move around in a wheelchair already.my the other grandpa is suffering from some illness and i seriously miss his presence even though i may not be close with him but that exact feel when hes around..cooking dinner every sunday for us,smiling at our innocence..where can you find that kinda peace now?

sometimes its not me not wanting to grow up but sometimes its just these little things that make me so..craving for the past.those things that cant be anymore.they will soon pass away..i wonder how will i feel?i'm not close to them..but i know they once loved me.even i miss the smile that they will always have when they were calling me when i was young..

and suddenly i remember the kinda peace i experienced in paris.though i was only there for a day,i was practically rushing through the city,but that city doesnt rush with you.its slow..and simple.by the river..people playing with the ducks,with all the birds..people drawing by the riverside..and that rich culture.that every morning you can just lazily wake up and visit any musuem and attend a history lesson.its just unbelievable that life can really be that simple.its as if having loved ones around is enough..

sometimes life is so complicating you yearn for simplicity.sometimes life is so simple you want complications.

right now in life i just yearn for my grandpa and grandma able to smile at me again..not literally but that kind of affection they reserve just for you..if only life was that simple.but then again..its the complications of life that make lives interesting.

how ironic can life be.