OCD.
17:11:00i was watching criminal minds that lam sent me (starting to appreciate that show, hope it wont run out like lie to me does). and one of the episodes speaks of compulsion, obsessive-compulsion disorder. and i just randomly remembered i researched on it while i was back in wuhan, and even had a conversation with yx about it, and we admitted we have mild OCDs in our own way.
Some people with OCD perform compulsive rituals because they inexplicably feel they have to, others act compulsively so as to mitigate the anxiety that stems from particular obsessive thoughts. The person might feel that these actions somehow either will prevent a dreaded event from occurring, or will push the event from their thoughts. Individuals with OCD are aware that their thoughts and behavior are not rational, but they feel bound to comply with them to fend off feelings of panic or dread.
-from wikipedia
Some common compulsions:
-counting specific things (such as footsteps) or in specific ways (by intervals of two)
-doing other repetitive actions, often with sensitivity to numbers or patterns
-repeatedly wash their hands
-clear their throats
-make sure certain items are in a straight line
-touch objects a certain number of times before exiting a room
-walk in a certain routine way
-routine for using stairs and always finishing a flight on the same foot
when i saw these on wiki, i laughed out loud. because i'm guilty of quite a few! and there was a period of time i suffered so much from it when i was young, probably in secondary school, and i didnt realise i had OCD. and i didnt know what was happening to me because these things tortured my mind so much but i knew it wasnt rational, but i just NEEDED to do it.
like if i tapped something once, i cant just tap it once, i NEED to tap it to an even number. or i will feel SUPER uneasy and as if something bad will happen if i dont tap it to an even number. (this still happens to me)
if i snapped my right fingers, i NEED to snap my left fingers twice, to 'even' things out.
and when i'm outside, i will subconsciously count alot of things in front of me, notice the patterns, numbers, to give me an ease of mind.
and you know why i dont really like wearing necklaces? cos i'll be VERY conscious of how many times my necklace touched me, and i will start counting, and if its not an even number i'll get very uneasy and i'll wait for it to touch me another time, then i'll just hold it in my hands. hahahaha. weird right!!!
and yes there would be certain things that i MUST see them aligned in a straight line too, or i cant really concentrate on anything else.
so funny hor! i think every other person has OCD of their own in small minor ways? i think its so interesting how all these small small things play with our minds, but its not even rational.
but in any way, i think i'm quite an irrational person also. i'm good with maths, but im irrational when it comes to feelings and emotions.
so interesting how God wired us up. and i know of all people, lam and huiying will understand my this post. lol.
2 comments
i love criminal minds too~ hahaha watch it everyday~ :D
ReplyDeletehehe im only at season 1!! :(
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