hello.

ohmy.its so amazing.just a phonecall and a 'yes' and shes saved!and not one but two!our cellgroup finally broke through!its SO amazing!!whats more was that they are so very open!its just like..yes.and its like that!ohgosh!!GOD'S AMAZING!!

ohman..i'm just happy i'm just delirious.hahaha.think wrong usage.but still!i really didnt know that..people really ARE so open out there!and we as labourers are just slacking!imagine a school of 1000plus people,bound to have more like them!!

but of course.we cant be complacent.PRAY that they'll really get integrated! :)

GOD'S SUPERBLY FANTASTICALLY EXTRAORDINARY AMAZING!!

haaha.agree with ying.communication.

haa.agree with jiaxin too.love ey.haaha.

man,today went xt's house.so fruitful!haa.yes.i hope to be a master in it.LOL.RV's still a problem though.RV RV.rivervalley.lol

FOCUS PEOPLE!I LOVE YA.

hey i really hope you'll read this.theres no other way i can talk to you now.

where and who told you that cell people dont like you?you felt it?hmmm..can i say that thats really what you think?i spoke to one of them today..and you know the reason why they dont wanna get close to you?cos they are scared that you suddenly will mood swing and erupt again.they dont even dare to crack a joke with you now..cos from time to time again you just suddenly give a black face.yes we do know the reasons why,but,the others dont.so naturally they dont dare to talk to you,and hence,you'll think that they dislike you.

and i know this will anger you.you said we didnt think about you.but the fact is we did..in the first place i agreed with eugene cos i thought we can go study as a cell group.but in the end you didnt want to study with him and yadayada.so i tried to solve it by telling eugene i'll go home.cos i remembered previously you said if we not going anywhere,you'll come my house.and i really thought you meant it.so i let down peter and eugene for your sake.so i went back to sit and told you and you just ignored me.hey..at that point of time i'm not disappointed ar?i felt sorry for you cos you cannot go and study at bedok so i opened my house for you even if i know we cant study.i was thinkin about you all along.and after that you really dont seem to care even if i went home,so i told eugene i'll go with them.and you know what?eugene seriously not not like you.

hmmm noone can see you are upset?we all did girl.we saw.we just let you be cos you are getting back to square one again.and if this continues..we just have to move on.

heyhey.haa.cell ytd was superb!really really blessed by it.i was trembling all over and the presence was so great that it was so overwhelming.i felt my whole body having those kinda electricity feel and for once,i actually felt numb.seriously.even my ears my legs,it was just all over.it was SO powerful.i couldnt even stretch my hands cos it was like..woahh..haa yeah.never felt like that before.never cried so hard before.and in that instant,wow,like all my pain healed.as in..seriously.wow the power!

and xt said that God will never ever leave me alone,even if both my parents abandon me.its just so simple.and i couldnt seem to realise it previously.isnt it so powerful?wow.haa.

been really blessed by the book ying lent me..been having so many revelations nowadays.like how worship's really entering into His gates..and this passage on love:

Know anyone who needs a cloak of love?
Have you ever heard of anyone gossip about someone you know?ever seen human jackals make a meal out of a fallen friend?"well,i heard that she..""oh but you didnt know that she..""let me tell you what a friend told me about him.."then all of a sudden,its your turn.everybody is picking your friend apart.what do you have to say?

here is what love says: Love says nothing. Love stays silent. "Love covers a multitide of sins" (1peter4:8). Love doesnt expose. It doesnt gossip.If love says anything, love speaks words of defense. words of kindness. words of protection.

...isnt is familiar?haa like how we often give in to gossips and just..gossip about our friend.we need to change,buddy.love's kind and protectful. :)

and theres this passage i got really blessed by too..

Common courtesy honours God and his children. "Do your best to live in peace with everyone" (rom12:18). Just do your best. You cant control their attitude,but you can manage yours.

...wasnt that so powerful?like..just do your best in your part.and thats all.we cant control others but we CAN control ourselves.

LOVE.so powerful.haa.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preseveres. Love never fails.

try changing the word 'love' with your name.do you become a liar?haa.try inserting 'Jesus'.

you love all your friends ey?think again.

i'm so looking forward to this new life i discovered in God. :) reaching out is so fun after all.

I'M LOVING IT.haaha.

and ohgosh.liverpool's match against west ham was so entertaining.truly the beautiful game.loved it!and when you are so passionately in love with the club you support,you'll seriously just label them as 'us'.like,we won!instead of liverpool won!cos you just feel so part of them.and that feeling's so cool.i really love my liverpool.'we' won westham!lol.

but it was a good game.we were the better team,even peter admits.gosh.haha.rare compliment.haha.

i'm loving crouch too!no matter how much people dislike or criticise him,i'm gotta stand by him and SOON,YOU GUYS WILL SEE HIM SHINE.hes like improving la! :)


---seriously,theres lots of people out there whos in need of our cloak of love.a little gesture can mean lots.

ahh..well.dad's overseas again.haaha.hmmm..aiya.everything will be okay.theres other joy in life that i can savour.hahaha.

wah,i love reaching out to sec1s man.so easy.hahaha.thats like revelation of the day.heee.

i thought this was quite true: "you cant change others' attitude,but you can manage yours." so we just do our best on our part to ensure we didnt do anything wrong,so theres nothing to be afraid of.haha.yeah.

man.i'm really loving busted's sleeping with the light on now.hahaa.its so lag to like busted now cos they like broke up last year.but!ohman.now then i realised,ohyes,they do have cuties.hahahahaa.

dont you think that for people,you'll always have a current hit in your life?like for now,its busted.previously it was joe pringle.more previously it was ke you lun.hahaha.yeahman. :)

raahh.pointless entry.

i'mfeelingveryverylousynow..idontknowhowtofixmyselfanymore.
andnomatterwhatanybodysaysicantkeepmyselfonmyfeet.
whosgonnacloakmewithacloakoflovenow?yeahiknowhecan.butfeelingsodriftedawayitseemshardto.amitoolostorsomething..?

why does it seem that i'm the only only one in the family whos affected by it all..?
no matter how i force myself not to..i still am.its there staring straight at my face..are you there?

Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

heello.hahaha.

hmmm dont like to write unhappy things when blogging.but.haiya.just had a revelation.maybe all those things that i THOUGHT or FELT..only to make me distracted.BE FOCUSED TINGTING!(without spacing.haa.)jx you should know!haaha.yeah.REVELATION sia.

just thinkin..something ying said very long ago still stuck wimme.haa.she said something like,i dont think i'll be close friends with you next time.i was pretty shocked then.cos i cannot imagine life without my close friends.and i was listenin to the radio recently..they were sayin,in friendships,you need to work hard too.work hard to build it up,to contact each other.and i seriously hope i will not lose contact with any of my close friends!so i was thinking..building relationships..quite tiring ya.but worth it.cos i think like..i have mature relationships with people whom i've been through lots.like elaine.haha.4years as friends.not easy ey.we argued before!and had done stupid things before.had our laughs.internal jokes.and ytd..when we were passin notes,i realised..our friendship is like mature until we just know.get it?those kind of we just know and i can feel that kinda level.haa yeah.and that period when i was so not close to you,really felt as if i lost my soulmate.hahaha.you are like this piece of me that i really need.aww..

and like ying.i daresay that shes the friend who most understands me.as in..shes always spot on on guessin my emos and things.and shes always injecting sense into me.4years as friends too!kinda amazing.used to argue over the little things.but now..its already like past those stages.and without you..my life will be missing some pieces too.you are always the one who brings me back down to earth.sometimes i will just feel BANG.when i'm talkin to you.cos sometimes the things you say really make realise alot of things.haha.ya.and its around you that i've learnt to really take criticisms and to learn from my mistakes.cos you never never fail to tell me whats wrong and what wrongs did i do and you'll complain or 'tell me off' in a way.and i'll learn and be a better person.even though it sometimes can be hard to take,but ard you,i've learnt how to.and still learnin.haa.yeah.

huiying also.you are like the happy part in my life.you always never fail to put a smile on my face.so your childishness also got good part!haahha.and believe it or not.all the arguements made me learn new things.like..aware of things.like the previous one.made me realised that i cannot take you guys for granted and its up to me to make an effort to socialise and talk to you guys.ya.and you build me up that way.so even though we may not understand each other that well.but you are so important in my life too.cos you are always so tough and strong,so things like the debt collectors..i wont worry anymore cos (i feel!) that no matter what..you'll always be there to help and you'll help me 出头.so i no need worry.hahaha. :)

and jiaxin!dont you think?i seriously think theres just this bond between us.this unbreakable bond.as in..i will take in comfort knowin that..somehow..you'll understand my problems.and like..i just let myself down in front of you.i dont need to care about anything..about having to explain or what.cos you just UNDERSTAND.haa ya thats how i feel.you are that special friend i'll always have.

cally!theres always special moments somehow.and i was really touched when you looked me up the other time.you know that troubled time.when we sat at some dark corner.haha.and you are always the one who give comments about the situation and more than often its like..so true.you can really be some psychologist la.and you can really like..make things sound sensible and is alright.somehow..dont know how explain.not having in depth talks with you now!hahaha.shall have it sometime.BUT.know that you made a difference. =)

friends are amazing creations dont ya think?haaha. :)

MY GRAMMAR A BIT CANT MAKE IT THESE DAYS.i'm like suddenly so not confident of my english.AND ORAL'S TMR.gosh.hahaha.

hey you, living for tomorrow.
you sell your dreams for a pocket of change
hey you, smokin' up your sorrow.
just pointing fingers at someone to blame
hey you,screamin for attention.
once you get it you throw it away.

Try and find your better half now.
Open your eyes, and find yourself.

haaha okay i just realised that ashlee has got some meaningful stuff after all.first album.these are the things that stuck in my head.haa.the screamin for attention one is pretty true..no?once you get it you throw it away.haa.yeah.

my sunshine's all around. (=

haa my dad's not returnin yet.

home.family.that makes the most impt part in everyone's life..its like in what kind of environment you grow up in,you'll turn out to be who you are.

okay not sure why i'm sharin this.but..some things are happenin between my dad and some guys.i dont act affected.i dont think i am.but am i after all?i guess i am too immune by all these things that are happenin..till a point where i dont know that..i'm affected.because when the house is quiet,i'll always think like..why cant my dad act more sensibly?think of the family..?you know..he'll always always tell me off for being this and that.but..its just like..it reflects more of what a not understandin father he is..and not takin the effort to.its like these days hes off to china for almost weeks.and you know what?i feel happier without him.its not supposed to be like that right?i think i'm going through a phase where i dont feel affected but when everything's still..i know i am.imagine a family with both parents still alive but actin as if they are strangers.aint it better if they are separated?i know this is not the worst kind of case around..but when you are in this kind of situation..will you really stop to look at others?and i know too that friends talked to me abt it before..and i felt convinced.but then..it all goes back.

now is the time that a little bit of thing i get really pressurized.its like..a little bit of something i'll feel like cryin.why?like i've said,i dont feel affected.but i am.why this contradict?its like i'm really touchy nowadays..especially with our reputation really smelly with the guys in school now.i feel really frustrated.yes i know i should not.xt just lectured us today.and ya..it inspired me somehow.cos i remembered pst kong sayin before that if theres gossip,you know that you are doing something to stir them,or they'll not even bother.ya..so i'm still tryin to encourage myself.find new doors to be opened.

oh God,i just pray i will get through this.but even if i do..please do not let everything get back to square one again.but then again i realised..in all my life..the root of the problem never did solve and never will..

ahahaha.I CANNOT STAND FRANCE.MYGOODNESS.THEY ARE LIKE THE TEAM I'VE EVER FELT SO FRUSTRATED WATCHIN.the refree's tee so ugly.hahahaha.ohman.i feel so blessed to have scv.ahahaha.

JAPAN!all the way! (:

man.i feel so ke lian now.i got to go out of the house to do my quiet time.ahaha.or else my dad will nag.so exciting ey?hahahaha.i think so too.

GERRARD WILL SHAKE THE WC! :D

hmmm supposed to blog abt pos and things like that.but.decided to blog abt other things.

was talkin to yulan on the bus..i really love this kinda talk.she said jealousy is really a deadly weapon..its so true.and more than often jealousy also comes in.and spoil all the relationships.why do we have to be jealous?because we dont have security?you know i realised..God put different friends in our lives for different purposes.and to each individual,every friend hold a special value..not?just like i love how elaine and i still have strong bonds though we may not be together all the time,and how i really love huiying injectin some fun and laughters into my life.ying is so special too..words cannot say how.its just like,every friend holds a different value.so we need not be jealous what..theres nothing to be jealous of.you may be like this to this person and another may be like that to her,in the end,we are really this big big family.you need to know whats your special traits..

and ana really opened me up.nobody's alone or left out..if you think you are,do something abt it rather than sittin there and pityin yourself.being alone and being lonely is different in the sense that..you choose to be alone.life's about choices.if you will really look,there is really a whole group of people willin to talk to you and to play with you.why pity yourself by sayin you are left out..?its like.we all really love each other.thats why we are just a big big family together.

of course i will miss pos.but i choose not to dwell in all those 'i miss you' things.over is over.and theres memories of course.but hey,i would rather look forward to how all these friendships that i've made will grow.and bedok view people really stand out,they are unique themselves.and its not like we are snatchin anyone..we are all friends!in the end we all enjoy each other's company.and i really dont want all the relationships to go on and just disappear.cos i really wanna keep all of them.they are all so special to me.and i really learned a lot of things from ana..she really is such a great friend.and counsellor.and i really like talkin to her,cos its like each time can learn something different.and she said..instead of likin the company..we should really learn to appreciate each other and earn their respect instead of just likin the company and fun.i'm really so amazed by her..such a tall girl but so sensible.haa.

ya..and i really love this cell group.i really want to meet each and everyone up in heaven..and its really up to us to restore the cell's atmosphere.i dont believe we cant do anything..we have God..i really really miss the old eugene.i was so inspired by him last time know..hai

wow now really feel like tellin everyone: YOU MADE A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE.AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT.

:) we are really a big big family together.