whole again.

02:06:00


been watching Skins. its a crude show, very very crude show. but it somehow still draws me in. i like how real the characters are, how imperfect they are, how honest they are about life. how they fail again and again, but along the way, find bits and pieces of themselves. but they'll lose them again, but somehow, still manage to piece things together and work out for good.

they are a whole bunch of screwed up kids. and somehow, just kinda refreshing to know that there are still imperfections in this world. ironic i know. and a bit psycho. but somehow i just really like that show.




some stuff that happened. made me think alot.


as i was walking that same way to that same destination, it surprised me how well i could memorise the way there. and how i hated walking that exact path. i wish i never ever have to walk that same path ever again. and i was tearing. and i recalled back that previous time i walked that path, i was tearing too. but both for different people in my life.


the previous was much dear to me. i was so so worried i just couldnt help myself and i just kept tearing once i heard the news. i needed to see her for myself to get the assurance.

this isnt as close to me. but my heart totally went out to him, and my heart ached so much. when i reached, i didnt dare to look at him, i didnt dare to look at the arm. i was afraid.

but eventually i did. and i saw fine lines etched across his face, and him struggling, to try to get his message across, occasionally showing signs of pain and frustration. my heart ached so much. so many occasions i wanted to tear.

here's a man. who had no choice in life. whatever that happened to him so far, he didnt have any say in it. he worked hard all his life, just trying to get by. lived a honest life, with a simple house, simple family. but life has been cruel to him.

when i was studying chinese literature, i felt the most for those characters who had no say in their destinies. my heart went out to them. though they are fictional, but they speak volumes about a life that has no freedom, no choice, no love. and i often thought about them alot in classes while my teachers were analyzing them.

this situation reminded me of those characters. perhaps not as tragic, but they are all trapped in a prison cell of life. they have no vision or dream. their only vision and dream is to live happily, die peacefully, and just get by.

reminded of all the unfairness in this world. where some people can have it all, others just have miserable lives.

but as i was thinking about all these yesterday, i saw a scene which warmed my heart greatly.

i saw love,
and i saw family.
in such situations, these things shine all the more brighter. and it warms every heart and give so much hope. people that you can rely on, to fall back on. given such extreme circumstances, they are the ones who wouldnt give up on you. who would truly be there, wherever you are.

just to hold your hand, to give you a hug, to give you a smile,
just to let you know everything's gonna be alright.

it was then that i really thought to myself, nothing's more important than this. and love's really what we all live for. whether unknowingly or not.


but still, i pray that God will truly bless his family and bring them through, and really show them the greatest love of all. because thats the only thing that will make all the incompleteness complete, and a reason for everything that they've been through.

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